nawkcire

Games, Tech and Blogging…I can't guarantee in that order.

“Why you no YouTube celeb?”


A few times I’ve asked myself a similar question. Never really dawned on me the reasons behind not being an online celebrity. Took me awhile to realize the zero potential into a venture. Though at one time I tried online broadcasting. It wasn’t so great since I was competing over popularity of those who already made it big, I gave up because it was just simply put – awkward. I should’ve realized it then, I never had that potential to be the out loud person I need to be to pull it off. In a way I blame it on my upbringing or just my lack of social skills; thanks mom, dad and everyone for talking to me, great way to bond (note: sarcasm.)

One major hurdle I could never overcome in terms of just being social and up and in the know socially is likely my shyness. It’s not like I shut myself out of the world, but it’s more of a fear of the secondary adverse effects. Wrong impressions, being judged, just one of those “friends” and whatever that could resort to shutting out the limelight. Of course, I stay up to date with news. But I’m talking about the kind of news of who’s doing what and the he said/she said. Probably if you saw me on the street, you look at me and might think “he looks normal.” Of course on the superficial exterior hiding your symptoms is one attribute in all animals so they can live on without being ostracised for life. In the mental block, it’s a who different ball game. I think my mind is a good mind, makes good judgements based on certain reasons and deductions from others; you know? Scientific and meticulous logic by talking to itself. When it comes down to sharing ideas, it’s like riding with training wheels. One that crutch is away, you just stumble and try until you get it. Different between bikes and my mind is that mine just goes in circles until I question of scenarios. I admit, my imaginings are somewhat kinky (not sexually…okay, maybe a bit…it’s a guy thing) but still creative or what can fall under a creative idea. When it comes down to ideas to share, it gets difficult considering my mind can model and sketch in my head; yet it has the physical creative manifestation of a 5 year old. Stick men and ill-drawn sketches don’t really help, but it gets the point across in rudimentary terms. And boy howdy, physical manifestations of shyness from me is astoundingly standard. The old stutter and awkward silence to come forth with a rebuttal are really my two social tools.

When to comes to online videos I noticed everyone projects their voice loudly and clearly over everything else. Like I said previously, I’m a shy guy. I don’t talk to people on a daily basis; I’m more of the guy who would walk into a room full of people, check in and check out. Maybe talk to a few people but usually I want to leave afterwards, though it’s really random when I feel like socializing. Above all, social encounters is one thing I somewhat fear; here’s why. I grew up on strict structures, the timed and scheduled of workloads and activities. Usually activities include go to school, go home and those things to move on to the next schedule thing of both academic or natural related (sleep, eat, school, work etc.) Of course, school should be somewhat social. For me, it was more academic for anything else. I would be stuck in a book and people would ask me question and usually wanted to provide a short answer so I can get back to “more important” matters. So I never had time to really stop and chat.

Aside from personality traits, the superficiality of online videos and broadcasting. In simplest terms, too damn ugly for T.V. At best, I would end up on FailBlog for some dumb stunt, though highly unlikely. Without that, it doesn’t really attracts and audience. Of course, the patient would benefit; it’s just how to create a mainstream of audience. The next is somewhat interconnected to personality. Imagine yourself standing in the middle of the busiest place you can go to and just rant on your opinions and everyone is open-minded to listen. That audience is really more of a factor since it’s many people thinking and judging. Thus, the shyness really puts me into a bubble of safety. One last big thing is jesturing. Hands and motion to keep people engaged and interested. Of course I do have subtle jestures, but it’s the large ones I rarely do. And even small jestures are infrequent, since my hand would be tied to doing something.

Probably I will never be ready for YouTube, but hey…good enough for WordPress!

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2 responses to ““Why you no YouTube celeb?”

  1. neonarmada November 25, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    Haha you should try wordpress with hand gestures 😛 All that aside I’m a shy guy too and starting my channel was hard, and it is still hard to do it, but it has definitely helped me become more sociable

    • Eric November 26, 2011 at 3:43 am

      Doesn’t seem that way. I watched some of those videos. I would say you’re more speechless than shy.

      I do have one hand gesture for WordPress, well it’s just one gesture. It’s call head scratch, takes me forever to really gather my thoughts. Like this took me an entire day believe it or not.

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