nawkcire

Games, Tech and Blogging…I can't guarantee in that order.

Lose Money Fast

It’s been a long week and a half; mostly work related. This weekend was the one and only time I ever had for myself to relax and do a few things. My pants are getting a bit baggy so I went and grabbed a belt. At the same time, I went out and ordered a few things. To end off a productive day, I thought I would go see a movie. Sometime between buying the belt purchase and the movie theatre, I managed to lose my debit card. By the time I whipped my wallet out to buy a ticket, I realized my situation.

My reaction was beyond disappointment, beyond fear. I depend on my bank account for so much and losing this little secure plastic card would expose my card’s RFID to anyone who finds it. Then it hit me how fragile that RFID tag inside the card can be.

As it stand with my bank, the radio tag inside my card doesn’t require any for of verification. A simple tap on the receiving device can make small purchases. It can be a lot if a lost card was tapped repeatedly everyday. Actually the first time I used the tap method once because the merchant wanted me to tap. He insisted.

From my teens right up to now, I’m a safety and security conscious person. There are risks involved with everything we do, online and offline. When it comes to taking a risk with a lifeline for many including myself, I’m starting to realize the vulnerability of the radio tag and electronic banking. It’s been awhile since I used any form of e-banking nor do I ever want to trust my data electronically. Many of you may be less concerned, I tip my hat off to you. Online banking opens a world of consumer freedom and the opportunity to buy and sell products online.

As for me, I’ll keep my old ways and stick with my physical banks.

Achievements.

At the time of this post, I’ve been playing a whole lot of Insurgency. Though there are a lot of boosters for the new Day of Infamy mod from the community, I’m staying close to the base game for the fact I spent over 800 hours to get to this very moment. The very moment: “Bodycount X (Co-op) – Kill 100, 000 enemies.”

In many games now, there are accolades for accumulated kills. Like many games, they award in increments. In Insurgency as the X suggests, it’s the tenth one in the line of Bodycount ¬†achievements.¬†As much as I dislike games with an achievement grind, this one I cannot ignore. I want to have it because I’ve spent so much time invested into the game to not complete all the co-op achieves.

I can’t help relating to my predicament to reality. Achievements in life, especially recognized by others, are the hardest to receive. Hardest are for those who seek them rather than doing what they’re doing. When I first starting playing Insurgency, I thought I would give up around hour 250. I’m now coming close to 850 hours and the last couple years feel like nothing. I would say it’s a blur since I’ve been playing the same maps and the same game modes repetitively. I’ve been more or less racking in about an hour or two a day and only recently I’ve been pushing it to gain more kills. Much to my surprise in the past week, I’ve inched closer and closer. Start of 2016, I needed about 20k kills; I’m now almost halfway with a an estimate of a month to finish. After that, I’m not sure if I would play PvP to complete all the achievements.

Much in life, you have to keep doing what you love and your will be rewarded with something meaningful.

Oddity.

Recently I started to watch a few documentaries on YouTube, there is some quality of a documentary I feel compelled to watch. Most I’ve seen were about half an hour the minimum and it took me to a lot of places in human society. The civil wars in the middle east and northern Africa, the hyper cyber culture of South Korea and Japan, the drug wars in South and Central America. It’s interesting the topics and views you would encounter that will pull you into viewing the entire doc.

The strangest thing I’ve noticed when I watch documentaries, the topics are very localized in those areas. The examination of depression and suicide is always in a developed country, gaming culture is in a western young adults basement or on the pro circuits in Korea, pollution topics in our lakes and polar caps. There are a lot of issues with the world, most of our own doing. The human condition is varied all around the world, what seems strange to us is a norm to them.

There are places in perpetual war and death and sadness is becoming an issue in developed countries because of anything and everything. It’s interesting how these short films deliver the truth but skirts around the phrase “at least we’re not like these people”. What it is like to live on this planet varies from region to region, changes from economic and political variabilities. You can be born poor and living in he worst place in this world to one day live in mediocrity, but it can be vice versa from rich to poor.

The human experience is crazy because everything you can do can change and everything will happen could change what your can do well after. As objective we can point things in a perspective, subjective we have our own perspectives.

Resolutions 2016

This is starting to feel like a yearly topic about new years resolutions. I personally don’t believe starting a new year with something new. A dramatic change in your life will now change your forever, for me making quick changes leads to quick disappointments.

To me it doesn’t matter what you have said to commit yourself to this line of activity; whether you want to write more, be more fit, earn more or do more of the things. Resolutions to me notifications of how less I did last year so I push myself early on this year to do more. In reality I really want to do more in the entire year rather than the first month. A resolution for new years shouldn’t be anything more than to let you know what you could potentially do, not of what yourself should push hard to do more.

I’m about a year into my last resolution was work out more, it didn’t necessarily start out as a gym membership and a everyday schedule. It started with realizing what I could do and just going out and finding the means to do it. At first, push ups next my computer; months later I upgraded to a gym membership since I outgrew the basics I could do alone. Now in 2016, I’m still at it; lifting and running since 2015. Not because of a resolution, but I noticed I wanted something a bit more for myself.

Resolutions to me are the wake up call. The commitment and the will to change comes from within to continue and persevere. Do you have what it takes to continue or whither? We all want to be a better, but it will take a little time to be the better of ourselves.

Slow in Sixteen

Happy new years, readers! As much as I want to be jovial, I feel anchored in 2015 and dragging myself into 2016. Dragging because I’m getting older and I don’t want to grow up.

Ripe in this moment in my life, I went from having a broken heart and a broken dream to just hanging on a bit of hope alone. From one bad thing to another in the past few years,they seem now stepping stones. Coming into 2016, I feel my time is running out. I fear in 40 tears time, I will have a big regret of never spending my time wisely while I was young. The last decade whipped by me so 20 years can easily be a blur.

I still have time to set things in motion for the next few years. My stubborn hope is all that keeps me from giving up. Hope in something I have yet found. 2015 was the year of recovery, perhaps 2016 will be the year of discovery; maybe rediscovery?

Day 30 – To The Future

Finally we’re at the end of this challenge, I must admit I missed a day and overshot the deadline by a month. Regardless, we are here with the 30th day which also happens to land on Christmas. So happy holidays and hope you are with friends or doing something to keep the day rolling.

At the moment, I think my blog is going to follow me through different moods and hobbies in the future. I have nothing really set up but as things change and how I feel, I will slowly document them in this follow. Of course for all you that have been here and are joining in, it’s going to be a gradual change. Topics will jump around and depending how I feel, it could be a happy post or sad post; maybe even an angry post to even things out!

These couple months have been kind of a test to see if you guys like to have random topics. If you guys like it, let me know in the comments what topics I should cover.

Future of this blog is in our hands, we can both shape it together. For those long time readers, thank you for dropping in and checking in. For those new to this space, welcome and don’t mind the clutter!

Day 29 – Confession Period

Around year 2 of my blog, I kept a long list of topics on a text file. Over the the past 3 years since, I have probably went back and forth on the text file. Out of all the topics in the file, I’ve wrote about 40 posts on a few topics. If you know the immensity of topics, it would dwarf the 40-ish posts. As much as I like to be organized, this blog has turned from gaming to just thoughts and opinions. As much as I like to cover games, I do have a YouTube channel for the very purpose. The hardest part to keep it personal without getting too personal because of the things I have to keep to myself and just the general “stranger danger” of the net. As much as I like you guys to know more about me, there are things best left a mystery.

Back to the list.txt file, do I still have it? Yes I do, sometimes I read through it and eliminating things I don’t want to talk about and adding more to it. In the past few years, I have been more inclined to read through it than just writing about them. I’ve drafted a few posts but nothing I have really felt ready to publish. At first it was a good idea to have some topics ready to go but it felt less organic. Now it has turned into an archive of things I would like to talk about rather than documenting things I would feel comfortable to voice a comment towards. I have spent the last few years just riffing off my own mind. Every post is a spontaneous post. It feels more comfortable that way.

Goes to show not everything will benefit from order and organization. A bit of chaos can go a long way.

Day 28 – Embarrassing Moment

It’s kind of hard to think of an embarrassing moment in my life worth sharing; either they’re too personal or way too embarrassing to share. Everyone’s threshold for embarrassment is different. However I do have something to share while we’re on the topic of embarrassment.

Most commonly I get embarrassed when in conversation with someone and the topic leads into territory where I cannot necessarily contribute to the conversation. I do like the occasional banter but there are times when someone mouths off into a zone where I feel uncomfortable to add, in the end I have no way of backing up or continue forward. Recently it has happened well more than a few times and I feel like I have little to no information to provide so I do my best to provide a generic and neutral answer.

Conversations as great as they are, sometimes turns into more of an intellectual sword fight than small talk. As much as I like both, I don’t really like one turning into the other. My brain is not a wikipedia, nor a reddit. My brain is my own and I choose what I need when I need it. So I am sorry to those strangers I’ve encountered I could’ve give you a straight answer. Sometimes I can’t really give you an opinion because I don’t know or I can’t tell you because of other reasons, that is how life works and I hope it doesn’t offend you.

Day 27 – What’s in…

Simply put, I have no closet. I keep my clothes in drawers if they are not laying around my room or in my backpack. Sometimes I carry clothing in case it gets colder than I would think. With that fact, thanks for reading everyone!

…Oh, still here? Well…I guess I can share what I did recently.

Recently I went to my local airsoft store to make a small purchase. Just some decorative and protective equipment when I noticed they have a mystery box rolling around. For those new wondering what is a mystery box, it’s a package of miscellaneous items with the opportunity to gain something hard to get or worth more than the value of the box. In the spirit of being my first mystery box I have ever purchased in my life, I thought I would snap a few photos for posterity.

20151216_200511

When I bought the box, I was surprised it was in a non-descriptive envelope. Not much more than a cushioned letter sized package. Rest assured I would get the following items:

  • Shemagh
  • Rubber ninja star
  • Len protector for a reflex sight
  • A velcro Canadian flag
  • Airsoft gun barrel cover
  • 3 premoistened lens wipe

On top of this, I would assume I would get a receipt for one of the following (note all these are airsoft guns):

  • 1 in 25 chances for a 1911 pistol
  • 1 in 50 for a Desert Eagle in Black
  • 1 in 50 fir the same but in Silver
  • 3 in 500 for a FNX 45 pistol
  • 3 in 500 for either a G18 pistol
  • 3 in 500 for G17 pistol
  • 1 in 500 grand prize of an MP7 in black

Out of the list of hopefuls, it looks like I could get a pistol out of this deal. I’ll sell myself short on the MP7 since I’m in no rush for a submachine gun. However I am looking for something more compact for indoor play. I’m not a fan of the Desert Eagle as lovely a pistol it may look. The FNX looks a bit big to me. The two Glocks may be difficult to obtain so the logical and most likely extra is the 1911.

Time to open this sucker up.

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As promised, I have all the guaranteed swag. The flag to me is a bit disappointing because the proportions is a bit off and the velcro is protruding out. I already own a barrel cover for my M4. The anti-fog wipes are a nice thing to have, they’re about $2 a pouch. The ninja star is a neat item but I doubt I will ever use it on the field. With the face mask I bought in the same place, the shemagh might be very helpful inside and outside of airsoft.

The box was cheap and had some interesting goodies, I might someday buy another at the same price and unbox it.

Day 26 – Talents

I have never consider myself having any talent, I would even consider the phrase “a talentless hack” to be a complement at times. Talent in my frame of mind is an skill only a few possess. The few who acquire this skill through experience than learning academically. Perhaps talent has a bit of intrinsic value. To me, talent should be something remarkable and meaningful to a few.

Anyone can say they have talent. I wouldn’t say I’m an extraordinary writing, but 210 of you guys would disagree. I’m not a bright person, though I sometimes think of some good ideas. I don’t possess the ability to create earthly elements from my hands; except for fire, if I have a lighter. I’m not a musician, my virgin guitar in my basement would be proof of this. I’m an average gamer at best, could’ve gone pro if my parents didn’t hold me back (okay, maybe amateur or a popular YouTuber at best). So what can this talentless hack do that can be extraordinary?

Recently I went to a Christmas dinner; as much eating and drinking was involved, I stay to the late hours. Everyone was hammered and I was buzzed myself, but I stayed behind with some of the remaining guests and talked until I was ready to leave. As much as I was told I can leave after the dinner, I stayed behind to enjoy myself. I didn’t stay behind to drink or anything, I just stayed behind the people were there I would consider are kind of like family. I really did it out of loyalty, I’m not much of a drinker and I was still hungry after the dinner too.

While I was there, I sat there and listened to a lot of people talking about themselves. Most of the time for hours, sitting there with beer in hand and and open ear. Passing some small talk and just talking to the people I work with; people have some interesting things to say, advice to be given.

The oddest thing is my talent as mundane as they are, they are talents we could all have within us year round. Compassion and loyalty to others seems to be sparse outside of social circles. Whether it is the sign of the times, the world this Christmas is closing into itself rather than working towards something open and incredible.

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