nawkcire

Games, Tech and Blogging…I can't guarantee in that order.

Tag Archives: rant

People are terrible.

Before I say anything, I’m going to say this. I’m a lurker at Imgur. I’ve never made an account on there but I like to browse through some of the content over there. Sometimes it keep things light hearted and some things I see there can make you feel passionate about things. As a hobbyist photographer and I don’t know why, I saw this and my jimmies were rustled.

For those who like to play it safe, let me tell you what you will see in that link. It’s a long list of pictures of people taking photos, seems innocent. However each image has those people abusing the environment. You would see a person standing atop a ledge, one harassing a large bird, and a person shaking a cherry blossom. Then the last one which had me wound up; a man wielding a camera taking a close up of a bird which looks like it’s being choked.

I was shocked and I’m happy I haven’t seen people do that yet. However the reminders are there when taking a photo, never jeopardize your safety and never harm your surroundings. Some people don’t necessarily think of their safety until it happens to them. It’s one thing to stand high and tall to get that majestic shot but once you lose an arm and a leg, not having a good picture is the least of your problems. After seeing the gallery I decided to see if there was a list of selfie deaths. Surprisingly, there is a list! Even worse is the list a long. A lot of folks doing, not much thinking. And I thought I was a bit impulsive.

Then there is the wildlife cruelty, I just hope there is a special dark place for people like that. Whether it’s animal or plant, I do think as a photographer I should be observing and not influencing. There is something about studio photography where you are capturing a subject but when you’re in the big wide world, you are just there to take what may come. If you’re using the world as your backdrop, then you should be responsible to minimize your impact to the environment. Don’t tread on a flower garden or shake a tree because it suits you.

Anyways, I will be doing a bit more photography as the days grow longer and sunnier.

Advertisements

Discovery

The best part about being young is you have a fresh view of the world. You can always change and make it to what you want rather than following in someone’s footsteps.

I’m growing out of the youthful age but I still feel inside me as youthful but in a different way. As a kid, I couldn’t self express the way I wanted to and it seems now I’m catching up with listening to music and taking up photography. Even if you go back 5 years, I went creating a YouTube channel and this blog which is still an evolving piece of my life! I am still finding the self I am comfortable with and not the self people want to see.

We’re all still young, whether you are at the start or to the very end; there is something to find new and different. A part of living is to live in the shell you grew in, but as I’ve learned through this year discovering something for yourself is something beyond the shell.

Always find something new and discover it for yourself, you might find something what will transform you.

Homeward Bound

As I grew up I felt less and less at home in the house as I grew up. Even if it was inherited, I would still feel I don’t belong here. After decades of being in this house and the neighbourhood, it’s familiar but it’s not what I would call “home”.

Something aches inside me to want a place I can my own. A place I can call own, a place I belong. There is just a place I want to be; I don’t know where, whether it’s metaphysical or realistic but it’s there gnawing inside and I want to find it. This is what salmon feel when they swim upstream, you just know you have to go but you don’t know where. Even if it kills me, I want to know where this place is and if it’s even there.

I’ve laid in fields with fields above. In the empty void, in the silence, there has been that urge; the urge to go home or find it. Even when I’m the place I sleep and work, the calling is way too strong to ignore.

What exactly am I looking for, what is this urge? Will I even find it?

Closing In

In light of recent events, it feels as though the world is coming to progressive and about to turn around for the worse. As sensationalist as the headlines were the past month, a lot worries me. As a student of history, the world we live despite it’s technological and social differences, is starting to unravel much like the days of our ancestors. Bitterness and hatred onto other, xenophobia cleaving away into us and them. The last 70 years to push towards peace could be coming back to where it starts.

If we’re not careful if history has taught me, we will be building the walls our forefathers once built. Destroy a generation of young folks over an illusion of hate and control. The would never be the same and nor has it been for centuries. I’m seeing everyone is a bit diverted from the point in unity. Unity is to keep us together, to give everyone what we have the most and not to pit us into old rivalries.

Optimism can get only give us so much. The world is waiting for answer which we don’t have, are we not searching for them? Are we not exploring deep enough to find them? Perhaps this is what we all deserve for our collective ignorance. To pass on a world of debt and crises to a woeful few unprepared to be entrusted with our securities.

I’m nervous of what the world will be since the next decade could be even worse than the last.

The Dark Hole

With all the news and headlines running amok, it really feels like we are living on the brink of chaos. I usually avoid the news to stay in a positive mood, but it seems more recently these articles are popping out more often.

The animosity of peoples unable to feuds and differences and a people’s indifference to care but to care for the superficial; I’m starting to think tomorrow is the tomorrow of an uncertain future. As we see ourselves as decent, noble, compassionate people; I can hardly describe what I see as just. I’m including myself in this. We are vile and terrible creatures compared to our ancestors who made a difference in the hardest times. Yet here we are squabbling over sensational headlines and preaching toward social justice for our selfish gains. As I sat at city hall recently looking at all the happy faces about in the seat of municipal power while the news reports about hatred for civil authority; I had to ask, “what do we want?” What exactly do we want as a people? Do ask for peace? For unity? It’s scary how it looks like we’re grasping at straws rather than having a defined movement in our generation. With technology gifted to us, we are underutilizing it to push on with the gift our ancestors alwys wanted and given to us. A gift of everlasting peace and harmony to our people and the people in need.

I feel I can just do is sit here and watch for us to dig a dark hole to bury us all.

Rush.

This is definitely based on my feelings on people taking public transit; especially during rush hour. I’ve been working a bit more recently and for it, I too have become one of those people who wake up early morning to go to work. In my city, we do have train and bus service. On most days nothing really happens, people get on and people get off; no fussing considering how cramped the subways get. However a few incidents have occurred where I don’t really understand people sometimes.

During rush out here, the trains run on a tighter schedule. We’re talking about a 5 minute delay between trains. On off peak hours, it’s really a bit loose on what really defines 5 minutes. As a gamer timing matters no matter what the case will be (Except casual games; filthy casuals). In RTS and FPS we have rushes, run in and do the dirty work regardless of the cost. In reality, rushing could really mean injury and delays when it comes to public transit. I’ve seen people get squished by doors on trains, a few times some people do get halfway in and just get smashed by the door. Of course the doors don’t split you in half but it does hurt to get smacked edge on by a pneumatic piece metal and rubber. As much as people are looking out for themselves, they don’t consider their behavior to generally be malicious. If money talks, then money is making people things to get on time. I’ve seen old people, young people, in suits, in casual wear, pretty much everyone during rush hour get hit with the door because they ran for it Indiana Jones styles. Best story is yet to come. I’ve once had a one minute delay where people seemed to want to squeeze in more and more as the train was stuck in station because people wanted to race through the doors. One guy runs up, smack. Next guy in a suit, smack. Two more before we had the train moving again. As cool as it to dodge the doors, you as the person rushing, are a selfish person. Considering each train is carry about 100 passengers or more, you are jeopardizing everyone’s word schedule just so you can conform to yours. Next time, get an alarm clock so you can at least get to work early.

Not as often, I get to observe the best in people. Most often than that, I see a lot of worst in people. Sure you hear some good news about people doing good deeds, but I want to acknowledge those unnamed folks who has always given up their seat for someone who is in need of one. Whether it was for a pregnant woman, an elderly person or someone with a handicap (like a broken leg from running towards the train doors). Those few in my city, are really outnumbered during the many in rush hour. On the buses and trains, there are designated seats; 6 in the front of the bus or 3 closest to the doors. As nice as it is to have a seat during a long commute, some people would outright refuse seating. A few days ago, I was coming home from work. Old lady steps up on the bus, the bus is packed end to end. I step aside so the lady can pass me, she stops at the designated seats at looks at the three people sitting there. For a brief moment of time, those three made eye contact at each other wondering who is giving up their seat. The guy in the suit looks both left and right of him while the woman looks to her left and another man looks right. I don’t want to be ageist, in the situation of “giving up your seat for an old lady”, regardless whether she was a man or woman and she was either old, crippled, or pregnant, I would say socially the youngest looking one of the bunch should stand and logically the closest to the door. So it was either the woman or the guy in the business suit. Luckily, he grew a pair without not before long.

Definitely the past few months, I’ve seen the best out of people and I’ve seen the worst while travelling by transit. It’s always the same stuff too. We lived as a society for millennia and yet we have not held on for dignity and respect for one another.  Be thankful we live in the age of buses and trains. Not long ago, we had horses and long before domestication, we have our own two feet. In all respect all human progress has led us to a very prosperous moment where we have all this to our disposal. Be humble for the fact you can travel a great distance to get to work because you wouldn’t want the alternative.

 

Specifics

I recently had the privilege of going out with a bunch of coworkers. It’s something I do quite often to know the people I work with on a weekly basis. However recently one of them posed a question to me about what I want in life; starting from the woman I would  like in my life down to where I want to be. I realized I something about my life I have so forgotten; I could never describe everything to this person next to me on the steps about what I want, how could I ever find someone if I don’t what I am looking for in terms of looks and personality.

My entire existence up to now has been just a happenstance and good faith. I grew up understanding my own personal needs are irrelevant and even if I wanted something, I would get somewhere close to my intended result. The earliest was my first console, as much as the Super Nintendo was an amazing system, I wanted an N64.

They finally convinced me I should really start to put an effort in finding something to keep me grounded. I don’t necessarily have a steady job but I really want to find someone out there to share a life with even though I and we haven’t figured something out yet. The problem is who exactly I want to be with in that relationship.

Not only who I want to date, but where I want to live and work in the future. I don’t have all the answers but I should really seek them. Then maybe finally I will get what I want.

Day 20 – Happiness

Happiness is a hard emotion to keep. The hardest emotion to maintain for me, I’m usually borderline happy and sad which we will cover next post. Some people live with an abundance of happiness and which to them I say I wish I had just a fraction of it.

Happiness to me comes and goes, I wish it would stay longer. There has been small moments over the past half decade. The recent was finally bring employed; not gainfully, but at least employed. It’s not much of a happy moment but a small sigh of relief.

The last time I was blissfully happy was when I took a trip to the US. It was just a series of trips I took as a way to break away from life. While I was there, I was able to see Paramore in concert. I have listened to ttheir ever since I was teenager and here I was in my 20’s listening and headbanging live to their music. In those moments during my trip, I was very happy and content.

It seems the past decade has given me more happiness than the rest of my life. Either I honestly don’t remember or I had a terrible childhood. Unfortunate, but it is the life I am given.

Growing Up or Growing In

Probably my age wouldn’t amount much advice when you ask me how mature is adulthood. Every adult will tell you to act your age; whether you are an adult or not. After just half a decade of “adulthood”, nothing has really changed.

In high school, we all discover new things while carrying our experiences in childhood. We meet new people, discover new things and make bigger decisions. Over time, we just learn the ways of the world and suddenly we realize life isn’t much rainbows and sunshine. Strange thing about teenagehood and adulthood is it’s much of the same, but post-puberty. That’s the secret, there isn’t nothing special about being a 20-something or 30-something. As much as people say at a certain age you start going downhill, it’s true everything gradually closes off to you as you get older but you will learn to get over it. In many ways the high school years only teaches you one thing, how to deal with regret in a humane fashion.

After a decade since being in the middle of pubescent period of my life, I come to the point where I am still discovering a bit of myself. After coming out as a young adult, it seems much around me stayed the same. However the interesting thing is I am still changing, I wasn’t the same person I was 6 months ago. I am always learning new things on my own and exploring new concepts and ideas. As everything and everyone tells me to grow up and “act your age”, there are so many contradictions in everyone and everything as well.

Creams and serums to make you look young and enhancements to make you feel just as young as you were when you were a teen. Yet fleeting as youth may be to some, I consider youth to be as constant as the wind. The wind just blows and will continue to blow as long as there is something to make it blow. Youth, you have to truly feel young at heart to be young at heart. In that sense, age is different to the sense of youthfulness. We can count the days like we count the stars; like both, there is no point if you are not in the moments you want to enjoy.

Growing up, doesn’t mean to be more mature and to be uptight with a stick up your butt all the time. Growing up is perhaps a cycle of finding joy in life in all the chaos and sadness life can bring. It’s perhaps not an evolution of yourself, but innovation of yourself. Keeping what you are to what you want to do next regardless of the mistakes we will make. It’s how we learn; from our failures and misdeeds.

“Up” is perhaps not the right way to describe it.

Alternatives.

As some of you read previously, I’ve upgrade my laptop to Windows 10; still having some teething issues, but I’m starting to settle with it. Like with Windows 7 when I first got it, I’m back into the routine of reinstalling every program I need. My laptop serves as a mobile blogging and internet platform; regardless of it’s hefty weight.

Though at the moment, the store provided by Microsft does provide some means of receiving some programs. However I dislike most of their offerings which has reverted me to my old programs. Defraggler and CCleaner to lighten the load off my computer. Chrome and Firefox or my browsers; yes, I have both. Science purposes, I promise. Of course, Windows Live Writer for my blogging tool. Though for some unforeseen conditions, I cannot for the life of me get Writer to work properly now.

I thought at first, I thought it would be easy. Just download and install it onto my computer, add my credentials and off we go. No doubt a few set backs have put me into a situation where I’m scouring the internet of solutions. At first I looked into other applications and even using the WordPress online writer off of my own account. As hand dandy the net is with online solutions, I much prefer some things remaining offline. Especially for the fact my home connection is not the average in the world nor this country and city. As antiquated the idea is, our dependency on instant and online has opened my eyes on how easy we have it compared to just a decade ago.

As many of you probably come out of high school or even at my age, there are very few things we install anymore that can really be considered a program. Though the rebrand to "apps" may be apt, the only two apps I could ever download is games and even with games, most of the save data is not going to the cloud. As convenient and space saving as it, it’s relying on a tether; the internet. As much as I am pro-net, there are some things left to what many would think is antiquated. Call me old all you want but when you have no Internet, I’ll be listening to my entire MP3 music library while you search for a strong signal for Spotify or Pandora.

The world may go around telling the new is what’s now; but when it comes to reliable computing, I think of offline and local. I think of keeping my information close to me and my devices closer. Never outsourced unless it is for sharing beyond conventional distances. I remember simpler days when Steam connected me to other players rather being the center to get my games. In honesty some services are handy for being online, some seem very cumbersome. Say for example app stores; as much as I appreciate each mobile OS to have their app store, the problem is exclusive access. You need a certain phone to access it to buy the goods and services on it. In the early days of the game store, it was the one and only place you could buy games reliably. The one shop locally you can buy any game for any console. The game analogy being the app and the console being the phone’s OS. There are many games I would like to play on my Blackberry Playbook and Android device from iOS, I am not willing to put out more money into a device I already own. Which creates a divide and as the console debate rages to this day, we could see the same. Rather than console versus PC (PC Master Race!); we could see the future (if not now) a heated debate, Android or Apple? As fun as pitching an argument, ubiquity in my opinion is a necessity than exclusivity.

So to hell with your app store, Windows 10. I will stand my ground until I find what I need. My install is fresh like a rapper’s rhymes and I seek it to fill my drive with what I need and not to a service you make me want. Much like I prefer a map and compass, my hard drive is where my "cloud" is and it’s a damn small but personal one.