How would you be in ten years? I the phantasm of my own yester years, am I just a reflection of an alteration of my previous self?
Though eloquent than “what the hell is wrong with me?” when it comes to see to past. The passing day I grow angry or sad because I think my old social media is slowly destroying me. In the past few years, a couple people I knew got married. Lucky them but the worst of all that is they’re my age. They’ve done so much while I sat here in the corner of the globe to watch boats and stare at ceilings. As much as I struggle, these people are finding themselves and each other. They’ve settled. While here I am irrepressible and depressed, like something is either wrong with me or it’s all a hateful game. Travelled the world, create a masterpiece, fall and stay in love. I’m the damned who could just achieve just one of these.
So one more of my Facebook friends (not my real friends) finally getting married. “Good for her” while secretly I wish I could find someone special like her. Why do I bother to get up if I can’t succeed at anything besides breathing? I just wish I could stare into that mirror and see a better self so I can have something to fight for than staring back the wishing face.
Social media isn’t good for me for sure, especially if I have “friends” sharing their intimate moments. I can’t let go but at the same time, I do.
Curse this modern age.
Remember when we were kids in school and they asked us what do you think you would be in 10 years? Still the same now as I was a decade ago and probably a decade out, secretly miserable and absently alone.