nawkcire

Games, Tech and Blogging…I can't guarantee in that order.

Tag Archives: writing

Rediscovering Me…Yet Again

As of writing this post, I’ve found my musical centre after listening to a lot of pop music. There is something about pop music that keeps me numb. Numb from joy and making things feel a bit upbeat, even when things are the contrary. Ever since I discovered music in my early teens, there has always been a part of me that jams with punk and emo music. Yeah, I’m admitting I’m a bit of an emo kid at heart. As an adult, I got nothing to hide from it. Kids are so immature at something they don’t understand and I’ve been on both sides who were and did ridicule.

The first time I ever hear punk music was Fall Out Boy, they were in the middle of their third or fourth album. I think it’s the second time they released Grand Theft Autumn. That was the song that hooked me into punk. From there I found Paramore and later on All American Rejects during their early wading into pop culture. I did find other bands, but they never stuck like those (and a few others). It was indeed something spiritual in terms of the music of the 2000’s, something happened and it was never replicated after. Any 20-something would agree that decade was great for music.

As much as I want to dig this decade’s music. It’s either too loud without a rhythm or it’s too fast which doesn’t have much of a soulful feel too it. Is it just me or just everyone’s taste in music has kind of dropped into a hip-hip and pop derivative. Nothing wrong but I’m kind of bored of the synthesizer and I want the bands with the guitars and drums (maybe a piano) with some actual vocals.

There’s always music in the world, but the music you want to hear is either before your time or hasn’t been yet. Much like life, it’s best experienced before we can make a choice. I’ve made mine. Definitely a bit of the mid-2000’s punk/emo era still lives inside me. Even when passed, I still find that music has transcended beyond to reach me.

Advertisements

What’s old is new…

It’s been fairly stale in terms TV shows I’m following. Ever since I lost interest in The Big Bang Theory, I’ve been just watching YouTube and going to the cinema.

This fall has been the coolest time however, coolest yet conflicting. Started off with news of the Mythbusters coming back after their small competition show to find the next duo. So far I’ve seen a few episodes and I’m fairly on the fence about it. IT really makes references back to the first 10 seasons of Mythbusters and the pair doesn’t really stand out as personalities when they follow a shadow. I still like science experiments and explosions so I’ll keep watching until the they find their footing.

Since I heard the fan film Axanar was taken down, I felt kind of empty about the Trek franchise. The universe J.J. Abrams tried to weave with a new cast and an altered universe made me somewhat nervous if there was ever going to be a prime universe Trek. When I found Axanar, I was excited. Now to present day Discovery and Axanar will never see the light of day. The TV show is Trek in the sense it’s diverse especially having an openly gay couple and lots of species never heard before. However it doesn’t feel like it fits before the 5-year voyage of the Enterprise in The Original Series. I’m going to still watch even though it’s a terrible way to introduce the Klingon-Federation war.

Interestingly, Seth Macfarlane’s The Orville feels like the closest thing to Trek but with a Family Guy vibe with all the jokes. I enjoyed what’s happened on far and has addressed a lot of human issues in a Trek-like way. I’m quite unsure if I like either more.

On the horizon, I’m hearing things about a prequel to Stargate. I’m curious though I wish Stargate Universe would return.

Some Time

I’ve been kind of out of it. Been busy working this weekend, I’m stuck inside while I’m sick. All I can do is sit at home and play video games and pass out. I have been massively fatigued once I wake up, almost sleep has no effect on me.

The most difficult part I’ve learned is getting sick really sucks. I’ve had to trade in work for bed rest and I’m losing by the day. However in the past week while I am sick, I did get a few things done. My camera has seen some uses, but been playing a huge amount of video games though. Not much for recording but I have been just absorbed into looking at sales and not stressing about anything.

I’m not quite sure what my next throwaway hobby is, but I feel like I should start exploring for another.

 

And….burnt

Well, I tried writing those fictional letters for about 9 weeks. I must admit I’m a bit burnt out. On the bright side looking back, I think I haven’t lost my touch in creative writing.

I’m going back to writing as per usual, blogging my own life is preferable than a fake one (No matter I wish it was real.) Since I started it, I’ve been heavily busy with a second job. Surprisingly both jobs are fairly steady but I have trouble to find free time since I get really fatigued after a day of work.

Looking ahead, I’m trying to start a small business. I’ll let you know how it turns out. At the moment, I want to pay off all the money I put into buying my DSLR and it may or may not succeed the way I would like it. At least I could have the potential to make back all the money I’ve lost.

#9 – Miles Away

Hey,

It’s only been a few days out here, I couldn’t help to write to you. Being so far away, I wish I could hold you in my arms.

When I first arrive in this small town, the locals mentioned something of a small waterfall in the woods. I scrambled all the camera stuff I could pick up and went out. I probably trekked a few hours along a path and through the low brush to encounter this clearing. Sweetheart, I wish you could have seen the roaring falls landing in the pool of water. Idyllic for photos, but all I could think about was swimming with you. I probably sat on top of the waterfall overlooking the area. I saw everything. The tired town as it settled in to slumber. The greenery of every park and tree all the way to the horizon. The sparkling lake almost untouched by man. The red-orange sky as the sun slipped away.

It’s only as fragment to what I’ve seen here. Yet I wish I could convey it in more than just photos with you.

-Eric

#8 – The Mall

Hey,

I am so tired after today. Spending the day shopping with you was something I wouldn’t think would be fun. But trotting around the mall with you was a joy. I could never understand anyone could spend an entire day to try clothes. I guess if you’re really into trying out outfits, I can’t help watching you step out with every dress and t-shirt you want to buy.

When I first told you I was madly in love, I wouldn’t have guessed you felt the same but today like every other you showed me the mutual affections. Smiling at you strut every piece new clothing I can’t help to feel so fortunate to be with such a playful belle. In my dorky smiles, I guess you found something worthy about me. Something so dorky to warrant you to pull me in the dressing room and kiss the smile off my face. Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think kissing would get rid of the exuding joy I feel when we’re together.

I don’t think we can ever feel any less wherever we go. Even at the mall, you could raise my spirits to enjoy a day solely for you.

-E

#7 – Long Walks

Hey,

Already it’s autumn and you always have impeccable timing to drag me out of the house. I thought it was just another day with you but I you just made me fall more into you.

Darling, every day waking by your side in your bed could never describe the coursing love through my veins. I knew when I first slip into your sunday dress, I knew it would be likely a a nice afternoon stroll. Albeit it was a cold day, we went on the boat to the island. The day warmed up slightly but I’m convinced you love long walks as long as there are blue skies.

I can still remember we sat by the lake on one end and playfully walked to the beach the other end. It felt like every place we stopped was tailored to us. Every beam of sunshine painted the pastel canvas of your gorgeous face.

I could never ask any more from a perfect – perhaps my blisters to disappear.

 

#6 – “Stay”

Hey,

We both know the first time we’ve met. Somewhere in the world with a smirk and a smile. You standing there with an honest blush on your face. I never really told you when I first fell in love with you.

It was one of our dates where I took you to the cinema; as simple as it started, it was just the best way to remember. We stay in the dark and watched the drama unfold. Through it, I felt your hand drift into mine. Your head softly lean on my broad shoulders. I looked over to find your hand holding mine. I was still unsure if you would end up like every woman in my life, upped and gone. In the darkness, you reach out and squeezed almost telling me there is someone there for me. I squeeze back, hope you understand what that meant to me.

Though after the movie, I was regretting we watched the last show. I remember taking the train with you. The entire way to your stop, you just held me and I could only hold you back. In our embrace, the world didn’t seem to matter. Time didn’t even seem to matter. As we walked home in the street light, you asked me to come in; of course, I could never say no to you (except playfully). As I close the door behind the stone path leading to your house, you kissed me and pulled me up stairs. Dragging me towards your bed, you made your intentions known. I told you I was tired. You held me down on your bed and kissed softly, you laid me down and cuddled into my arms. I didn’t resist but insisted.

“Stay”

It was enough to know you wanted to be loved. I do; I love you.

Eric

#5 – The Right Shot

Hey,

Thanks for letting me take photos of you. You did kind of did take me every time we went out. You’re such a dork for pulling out your phone during dinner and taking photos. I especially remembering you taking one while I had a bunch of noodles hanging out of my mouth.

Though it took us forever to finish today, I liked every moment. Watching every pose, seeing the smile your always put on; you lift me up to this plane of happiness every time we’re together. As I hit the shutter button, I felt like I was in a trance just seeing the moments we had spent and the dreams I still think about for us. When I put down my camera and kissed you on your bed, I really wanted to mean it. Wanted all those dreams transferred from lip to lip so you can understand how I feel about you.

But I would take a kiss any day.

Eric

#4 – The Right Moment

Hey,

Here’s the thing about taking a photo for me. I love going to somewhere familiar, yet different. An oxymoron, right? The thing is once I find something I want, I do what I can to make it perfect.

I spend so much to change it, alter it, transform it into something I would proud of; sorry sweetheart, when it’s just right I have the urge to make it better. When we first met, I felt like my life can be better. I was a scrambled mess until I starting to pick up a few hobbies then landing to this one, photography – my therapy. Even while I edit my photos with you sleeping next to me, I feel I have everything I could ask for. It’s odd how one little thing, one person, can bring so much joy.

There were time you would surprise me in ways that baffle me. The craziest thing was when you called me over and when you opened the door, I felt my lung empty in half a gasp. You dyed your hair, not only that but you also cut it down where the end curl to almost meet your neck. Yes, at first I was pretty mad you went from your natural blonde to a deep purple. Without warning, I was mildly upset but I hid it; I’ll admit it now. After that day, it slowly grew on me.

You’ve made your point. There are a few things that even when I think I have it right, things get better even if I’m not involved. Perhaps the right moment can be the one I don’t necessarily control but if we’re both willing, we can capture it together.

Eric