nawkcire

Games, Tech and Blogging…I can't guarantee in that order.

Tag Archives: worth

False Positive Reinforcement

I realized more recently that positive reinforcement doesn’t necessarily work for me. In this day in age, everyone is trying to see the better of things. Even then, the tiny voice in my head wouldn’t let me accept other people’s positive attitude especially if it’s directed at me.

I’m questioning a lot about myself recently. I’m not uncertain, but I feel like a kid breaking open the toaster and wondering how it all makes toast. How did my life so far created this burnt mess? I feel like I’m asking all the questions and I’m not solving anything. I guess it’s that empty part of me I’m still looking for, those answers to questions I should be asking.

A simple “good job” or “well done” triggers the inner pessimist. I don’t think I’m ever doing good or have done well to be congratulated. I just do. In a way it self-establishes I don’t have skills, yet I do. I have a talent to be talentless. I look at myself and see someone who has not achieved anything with age and wisdom. I look around me and I see a bunch of people who have at least an accolade they can be proud of, yet I’m here with a few people thinking I am worth something. Inside, I feel I don’t necessarily deserve it.

Perhaps a life time of negative reinforcement is catching up. Perhaps what I see in positive reinforcement will never come because it’s just how I grew up.

See you on the other side, readers!

I’m never much of a Boxing Day kind of person. The one time I went to buy something on Boxing Day, the lines were very long and the stores were very crowded. Let me just say, for all the risks, the rewards are few.

The first and last time I ever went out on Boxing Day was back when I picked up my Blackberry Playbook, at the time it was half off because the company wasn’t making much of a profit of them. So I though it would be a good time to snag one at a very low price. So I went out of the 26th at five in the morning. At first walking along the darkened empty streets seemed eerie as a few passing cars come and go on a large avenue. Human silhouettes indistinguishable to the eye as I briskly paced myself on a December morning. As I approached the downtown  shopping centres, I could hear people talking as the bright lights of the square gleamed the pavement with everlasting light. Already I could make out a few rows of people standing outside stores.

The line to the store I had my eyes on spanned up the street and around the corner for another block length. As opening was upon me, people began to fill the stores; moving the line as they entered. By the time I was inside, it was packed and hot. Chaotic movements jolted me back and forth like a violent wave. I checked the time when I paid for my new tablet and found it was almost 8. Two hours of waiting and one to wade through the bodies to get something that was worth under 200. Though a bargain, it was still stressful and chaotic.

For though boxers of Boxing Day, good on you because you can do this every year to catch some deals. For those curious of cheap wares, heed a warning from me. Don’t buy anything from Boxing Day that you really want. Seriously, dedication for a small material object is not really worth the stress. If you are planning on buying something on Boxing Day, I would suggest finding something you would like to have but wouldn’t be disappointment when it’s out of stock. You can either choose the long early line or sleep in because no worries, right? It’s not like you really want it that bad. When you get there it would still be packed with other customers, just calmly walk through to what you want to buy and pick it up, go straight to the cashier and calmly walk out. And there you go, one item with less hassle and stress compared to what I went through.

This year with my gaming channel, I really wanted a new pair of headset and a new hard drive. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really muster for the challenge. After going through this once, I just couldn’t deal with electronics stores being packed with people. It’s not really much of a hardware upgrade, my hard drive is running low on space but I can manage. As well, my headset is kind of getting old and in a deteriorating state; but it’s not worth the $20 I could save on Boxing Day. Like many things in my life, I can wait. I can wait to find what I need and want because I’m fine with what I have now. I think that’s where I will end off the last blog post of 2014.

Until next time, see you on the other side!

 

P.S. I did buy one thing on Boxing Day. One pizza.