nawkcire

Games, Tech and Blogging…I can't guarantee in that order.

Tag Archives: work

The Other Side.

Recently at work, I have been on the opposite of where I was over a year ago. Rather than being the trainee, I was supporting the staff in training.

I had a year of learning my job and now looking back, it feels like a lifetime has passed since then; sitting in a remote field, I can’t help but think. It’s been almost a decade since I got out of school, almost two years into the second steady job I’ve had since I started working; this nostalgic feeling under the bough of this lone tree, I can’t help but crack a smile.

Sometimes, it does feel there isn’t enough time to really sit back and watch it all go by; life in it’s minute workings, then seeing a bit of yourself without your ego. You were once there and now here you are on the other side of the machine, the painting, the tableau. It’s beautiful knowing all he hardships have brought you have right back around, yet there is nothing you want more to keep going not matter how tiring it can be.

There may be days when it can be slow, mindless and monotonous. The know there are others around you coming from different backgrounds coming together for similar things, it’s something…zen about it. Even on a hot day where I want to do nothing but drink water and watch the clouds go by, just a bit of work in the mix made it something worthwhile.

Perhaps the most worthwhile things are those we don’t necessarily see but it is when we see it.

Another Bad Day

This week has been something. My employer needed a few guys to commit to a few days of work, I was happily volunteered. However as much I enjoy working, there are people I with which I don’t want to near. I think every able body person who has or is employed experienced “that one coworker”. I really have no where to vent my frustration so right now at 5 in the morning on my garbage pail of a blog is as super as it gets.

For the sake of anonymity, let’s call him Hank (“Hank…..Grill”, come on it’s a good reference). So this guy has two part time jobs I know of, this and something else unimportant to my frustration. The fact most of the time I’ve seen him show up to these things, he’s either late or not dressed for work. Usually normal people come to work early to change or come to work dressed appropriately, right? I usually do either, come an hour early to dress or dress at home and go to work. That’s a minor thing, Hank has more up his sleeve. Not only he dresses at work right when we’re starting work, he dresses right in the middle of the hallway with his stuff crammed into a bag. I don’t know about you, but my workplace does have rules about where and when you take off your clothes. As much as this hallway is usually unused, it’s still visible and could be misconstrued as sexual harassment if you have your pants down. I turn the corner and all I see is Hank changing, accidental and also the fact I had to enter a door right where he was changing. After he changed, he told me he could report me for sexual harassment. It’s only 20 minutes into my workday, I’m already threatened and harassed by this tardy creature.

By lunch, I’ve managed to complete my work in relative seclusion. Tip my hat for my ADHD for keeping me in line to finish everything and starting the afternoon’s workload. The afternoon that day was perhaps the greatest test of my patience and a field test of situational and anger management skills. Now Hank in the middle of the day is looking over my shoulder telling me what to do. “Hey man, can you work faster?”, “I think you should do it like this.”, “Here let me do this.” Now I’ll go on why I don’t like him saying that last phrase. To put things into perspective, let’s have the standard model of a corporate or company ladder. New guys on the bottom rung, then the manager, execs, and CEO’s up top. This guy and I are on the same rung, meaning he can’t tell me what to do as a fellow coworker. He can advise me but he was insistent and invasive, a few times getting close to my personal space. And Hank’s work ethic is fairly satisfactory, he just gets his work done. Quality and person who completes it varies. I’m not saying Hank is lazy, just if he shut his pie hole and focused on the task at hand then perhaps I don’t have to cover his work. Which comes to “here let me do this”, there have been occasions where I had to let him do things. Whether it’s in front of my manager or I thought he had insight when I first met him, in reality the blunt end came down on my end if the work was my responsibility. Therefore I don’t trust Hank or anyone else to pull my weight, if I don’t complete it then it’s my responsibility.

Two days of this! Two days! Day one I came home and shut myself out from the world. Second day when I showed up, I was emotionally numb inside. Hank’s got an ego and a narcissistic personality and he power trips and manipulate anyway he can to abdicate his workload onto others. This post itself is me putting it lightly because I want to tell you, my loyal readers, this message:

As I kid, I never wanted to work. Now I found a job I enjoy, I wouldn’t want it anymore from my employment (maybe money, but money isn’t much of an issue right now). I think with my experience working with Hank, I feel it completes what I think people caught in bad employment feel. I understand why you hate those days and you hate being there, you can’t escape the pain and it’s almost torture. You do it any ways because you have to, there is no choice since money is what you need for everything else. I understand you have things you have to achieve and these are the risks to your reward. I get you and I don’t pity you. I like my job but I can’t say the same to you, I respect you because you live in your nightmare of your doing. I say, fight on regardless how tired and scarred you are; you can get through this even if it means one more day, one more task. I’m proud of you, gentle being. I know you have a Hank at your workplace and perhaps more but you can make this job work. Good luck to you!

Day 23 – Lottery

In the essence of odds and luck I haven’t won anything particular, cash nor gifts. Every “free” thing I’ve received was earned or came as a deal. When someone offers me “free money”, I get mildly suspicious because I have not won it ever.

However this blog is the what if scenario of if I did. To preface, the money would have to substantial. When I was a kid, a million dollars was something grand and would seem to sustain you for the rest of your life. As an adult, it doesn’t seem quite the case. The stipulation for the money would be it would be a sum that would allow me to not work for a long time.

Even with such an amount, I would try my best to make the money count. As boring as it sounds, I would try and put it into stocks and bonds. Risk a bit more and see if I can get just a bit more out of it. As for the rest of it, I would try and spend it on things I would need in the future. Like buy a nice place to live, pay the bills and try and use the money to enjoy myself. I do like recording gameplay on my computer so I might consider buying a better computer and getting a better ISP to upload and stream gameplay when I’m not working.

I would trade away the Lamborghini and mullion dollar mansions for a small house and custom computer. Still making a wage while doing what I like doing.

Day 16 – Education

I have ranted on about education in the past. It’s been something I’m frustrated with when I’m job searching. A lot of employers I meet have the preference of wanting post-secondary students for menial labour. As I read their position’s duties, they do not require someone with such qualifications. As someone with nothing more than a high school diploma, I would think I would be more qualified than a post-secondary student.

As someone with little to no interest in post-secondary, I would consider myself more of an asset to employers since I would have little to no obligation to work. I can world over time and late nights unlike university students who may work over time but are less hesitant to do so because of classes the following day.

I feel young adults are not lazy or not work, but overworked and underpaid. With all the unpaid internships floating around, it’s the employer’s treasure to find free labour through promises of “work experience”. I’ve actually tried to get into some of these interships and most of the time the employers are asking their interns to flip the cost for certain things. I remember this interview where the employer told me about how I would get into events as a media outlet. Suffice to say, if I wanted to write a piece about a concert I will have to flip the bill myself. All for “work experience”, my advice is to ask lots of questions if they’re wanting to just provide you just “work experience”.

Some of you out there might refute this and tell me your job is fitting for your qualifications. Then you have figured out how to get into it. However living in a large city, you have a lot of folks entering post-secondary and come out with an expensive piece of paper with little to no way to justify the last 4-8 years. People go back in and get more degrees and diplomas while some settle for a trade. Perhaps the schooling is not wrong with education, but how education is applied in certain areas. There are sectors which may require a post-secondary qualification, however in positions like cashier and warehouse associate a diploma would make little sense. I’ve even seen sales associates and representatives requiring a bachelor’s  degree! The way I see it, there are employers out there expecting way too much from the the employee. Most of the time, employers are the one’s lazy. They don’t seem to want to train you on workplace equipment so they want a school to do it for them.

If you have it nice and set, I dare you to try and find a menial job with your big boy degree. You will not feel those 4 years would be worth anything. I don’t even have one and I would feel the exact same thing.

A Little Everyday

Recently I returned from working up north, things have been more or less back to normal with some small changes. I got back into recording videos on YouTube and writing here. However I dawned on my in a conversation with someone over Steam, I could be much different from the person I was about a month and a half ago.

As I talked to this guy, I spoke of doing good unto others and phrases which equate to righting the wrongs in the world. In a way, it’s seen in the way I play Interstellar Marines recently. Rather playing  as the guy who would run into a room with bots, I’m now reviving teammates and thinking more about my approach than gunning everything in co-op. I think somewhere I have became a bit more selfless and humble.

Like anyone who likes dining, people here partake in a customary tip. Usually a gesture of good will which amounts to 10% minimum of the goods and services rendered. Of course awhile back, I did tell you guys how I tip when it comes down to doing the deed; 10% minimum for good service and up to 20% if I enjoyed myself with excellent service. Though recently I’ve been tipping fairly well for food I would once put in 10%; I’m not giving out over 20% but I would ballpark it as 15% average tip in recent days. At the heart of the matter I feel it might have been all I’ve experienced in the past month. Hard work with very little to show for it and working a job some may revile while some revere. For me, the work I’ve dedicated myself into is more for me. Selfish as sounds, it has definitely taught me a few things about people and how they conduct themselves. It has pushed me to the limits of my personality and professionalism to show who I truly am and shockingly, I can be more than the gamer in his room writing about world.

Working my entire body into a sore mess has shown me a few things. Though I doubt it qualifies me as a counsellor of any kind, I think it’s worth sharing. Whoever and wherever you are, whatever you do; I want to know, there are people worse off than you. When I started working about 8 months ago, I knew parts of my job will suck a whole lot. Many peers I use to know, they couldn’t hash it because it wasn’t something they enjoyed. However for me, something stuck onto me that I can never take off. This job, this occupation of mine has taught me there are certain people who take the job for two either reason; the benefits or the experience. In the end, the ones in it for the experience seem to stick around longer. Indeed money talks, but the heart knows more than money can buy. So to those who take up minimum wage jobs in their mid-adulthood with family counting on them to put food on the table, I totally understand the struggle. To those who have an endowed salary, I ask of you to think of others.

Those who are getting paid well off and have everything, life isn’t about the accumulation of wealth but of the experiences you inherit. In mathematics, there are two infinities; countable and uncountable. Countable being the elements which you can quantify while uncountable infinity is the values between. Example of countable would be whole numbers from 1 onward. Uncountable are more like real numbers, 0.5762 for example; there are a lot of numbers between 0 and 1 alone. Much can be said about living and working. Many of work long shifts for very little and yet enjoy it while some work for the benefits and not necessarily enjoy their work. Some are them even worse off, they don’t like their job and it pays almost nothing; but they’re doing it anyways. Employment is much like uncountable infinity, there’s always something better but this is what you have counted for now. Anyone can have a long employment history; but the experiences you had are the uncountables, they decide the worth of the sum of your employment.

For many who have never seen the stars at their workplace, sat as the crickets chirped, seen sights so very few would only imagine in video games and dream; the longing to make it all worth it is in you. Even though you get paid a lot or none, it’s not about making money, life is not about making money but about what you do with it. Survival is engrained into us, get the resources we need for another day. When you have too much, we tend to hoard it. When we have very little, we try longer until we have it all. In the end, none of that matters. Money to me is part of the great answer I seek. I want my life to be known more than just a number, a countable number. I want it know for the moments I spent, all the uncountable moments. Moments that changed me and taught me rather than the value of all the moments on a pay check.

So until next time, let’s start counting our experiences together.

The Longest Of Nights

The past month, I’ve been away; if you haven’t realized, I had some posts queued for your reading pleasures. Much like the time I tried to live without internet at home for a few weeks, the pleasures of home is missed but at the same went and did something different.

While I was out there, I met a lot of interesting and new people. I definitely got in trouble from time to time. Most of all as a city boy, the most I got out of my travel is the stars. The richness and beauty of staring at the vast void of the galaxy. Every night I saw the stars, I could not help but to think “this could be the last time I will see how each star”. In reality, I love looking at the twinkling at the stars. It’s very calming to me; even when work gets crazy, I stare into those naked points of light and and feel very calm.

Now at home, my mind is fatigued. My body is sore and well worked by physical labour. My reward and challenges have been receive. Right and until next time, I need a nap.

Working Hard or Hardly Working

With a bit of employment coming my way, it’s making me starting to think if I am actually working or I’m working too hard. With ages of unemployment, this underemployment is making me re-evaluate a lot of things about how I view a job and work.

When I was young and recently, I never really seen money to be an issue. Living in the shadow of family, you grow up learning the kind of work you want for yourself. As a kid or a teen, you decide the kind of jobs you want to take on. You want to make money, enjoy work or have a light workload. Whatever the ideas you have in your head, they still mean something. Even if you find yourself in a lifeless position making minimum, there is some good to come from this. If can stick it out, you can tolerate more than you  with yourself and others. The harder you push yourself at something you did not want, you can push yourself to achieve something bigger. Know the bigger the problem will never yield the biggest reward, it’s a matter of definition of what you think is a “reward”.

To many and myself, money is a motivator. It keeps the lights on, your feet warm and a meal in front of you. You need it to pretty much to survive on this planet until everything collapses and we go back to hunting and gathering. You should be proactive in securing every possibility to earn everything you can. Whether it is making money from the government or picking up more work at your workplace, do what you can to make money. You are young and in these times, desperation is something everyone has and will use to get ahead. Everyone in one way or another will take advantage of you not matter how cunning you are, in the end you never wanted to play this game but you have to; therefore play it the way you want it. Regardless of how many jobs you get, you will sooner or later feel the moment where you know you are overworked and underpaid.

I’ve seen what money can do to someone. It can hurt them so much for someone well devoted into material wealth. How much would invest in making the money today to later be a pay obsolete? Would you spend 2 weeks on a job? 1 year? What if I told you if you include post secondary, you spent a minimum decade of your life for the small stipend? Sorry to put you off working or demanding your employer for more, but let me finish. Even with working hard to the best  of your ability, just step back and enjoy life. Beyond making money, know how to spend it on yourself.  Definitely learn more than just the skills to pay bills. Life is a spectrum and finances is a large shade in the rainbow.

Even I don’t have a lot of experience or have a job to sort me out. By now, the people I know have been working hard to only be complaining their work. Some are fairly well off but the majority are struggling, I’m one of them. At my age, I’m still not sure if I worked too much or not enough.

Happier

The last week picked up fairly quick with better horizons ahead of me. I have been both very active and very tired, I’ve learned I’m a bit of a workaholic; the one thing I never thought I would become. 

Starting off, I’m reaching close to being straight broke. I’m slowly reaching out for welfare to keep myself afloat. My financial situation is a good smack to the face to job hunting. Even though I have been meticulously scouring all the resources available to me, I still think I’m still far away from where I want to be. The hardest I find about this is I don’t have enough to really keep going indefinitely. In my home grown pride, I don’t feel comfortable on handouts for food and funds but I think I might have to take advantage to what I can provide myself.

Just recently, I finally got a bit of employment and even with that, it’s not going to cover everything to keep me going. It’s not enough to help me move out and not enough to live on my own even with assistance from welfare. This is the irony of being born and raised in the city; I want to live here but at the same time the city seems like it doesn’t want me around. With all these “opportunities” you read about in the newspaper or from people who are living their lives and looking at you. Reality is never black and white and never the shades in between. At least a bit of employment than no employment at all; when you’re hungry and wanting more to your life, does it matter if you’re overworked and underpaid? On a positive note since I got a position working in the food industry, I get to learn more about making food and handling money; which is good especially when it comes to customer service positions in this city.

With more to do with my life, the less I feel I have to worry and the more I can feel productive. I feel really rejuvenated yet relaxed. It’s been too long since I felt a sense of purpose and the need to move quick. In the coming weeks, I hope my schedule will be packed with work. My aim is a 10am to 6 pm work schedule during the weekdays and be on call during the weekends. At the moment like a quest, my “on call” optional is done; just have to complete the main tasks to finish the quest.

Money, work, happiness, life – the philosophy

I’m going to talk serious a bit considering this perspective has been preached a lot that I think it is worth sharing. Capitalism, it’s amazing. I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it. The idea of accumulating wealth is very popular, especially if you have material goods you want to get or give. Money is a tool to get it. Sometimes pretty pricey to obtain things, but usually the stuff you need is right in hand. However there is a few thing about money a few people splinter off in terms of it’s intrinsic value. For those who are googling the word, what is money worth alone? I don’t mean by the value it represents but the personal value.

Many people I have this conversation with say it brings happiness and well being. I agree with them money equals health and happiness. Food, toys, livelihood. However is that the direct effect of money? My favourite meme puts it, nope.avi. Money is a tool to procure those materials to make us happy and healthy. It is an institutional society to keep every in check to make sure everyone is contributing their fair share. Money makes sure of the fair share part. Accounting for time and skill, the money you get should ideally reflect that. It may not be enjoyable, but it gets you a socially universal currency called monies. You use it to make sure you’re alive and well to live for your next shift. From my point of view, money does not equate to happiness, but labour to procure happiness. Meaning the work you put in is the money you get to consume products to ensure the labour is optimum. In this system, happiness is intrinsic to itself but affects the money making bit of the equation. Happier you are, more money passively. You can be happy without money since you can always procure items without the artificial system to assist in procurement. Example later on after the super boring philosophical ranting.

People put money on a pedestal and eager to get as much of it before they die. A conservative and frontal approach to happiness. From my experience, don’t treat yourself like the machine society wants you to be since grabbing money without goals will get you no where. I’m talking about priceless goals, something you cannot buy but is something you want which may be physical or metaphysical. Like world peace, green future and a better community. You can throw money to it, but the real work are those who want to make it happen. You are a system, a system in a very diverse and massive system called society. You may figurative put yourself as a cog in that machine, but I think of each person like a server with a rack of servers within a massive social computer network. Your constitution is the same as the server above and below you. You have a job to do, but it is your choice to pick another job. No one picks the opportunities for you but the ones you make. Back to the money trail, you can gain everything but it wouldn’t make you any better. You might benefit from a surplus of this financial wealth, but it doesn’t buy the life you want. In short, do something you feel comfortable in doing and not what society wants you to fulfill. If you are a geologist by academics and want to just be a chef, go be the best chef ever. You make six figures in real estate but life is fleeting and you want to live every moment? Make a list and do it, just go ahead; that is free will, your life therefore your call. Don’t let anyone tell you how to operate.

I had opportunities in high school but I rejected them to do something imperative than make money. At the time I realized how precious freedom can be. Many died before us to establish these simple rules to keep us from splitting apart. They died for the ideas they believed in, the idea away from discrimination and toward tolerance and diversity. Overthrowing the oppressors for unity of a social voice where every can have an opinion and not be excluded for their differences. Imagine each of the individuals who died or tortured to express what we take for granted. They didn’t do it because the pay was good, they did it because it was a just cause. That to me is purpose. In a classroom on a cloudy afternoon, that is my revelation. I knew what I want to do, I still want it and believe it is what I truly want. I want carry on like those who died for my existence and safeguard what we already have that money can never buy; freedom. May not be glamous or safest line of work, but I would do it to protect those who want to have something to say, do, want and believe. The pay could be less than stellar, but if you would choose freedom or money; which would you really want? My view; freedom so we have a choice in what we can do in our lives rather be told what we can and cannot buy.

Life is a like a zombie survival game, folks. There is a class system, people would recommend one. But its better to play the class you’re accustomed to rather than the recommended. It might not get you far, but you will have more fun in the process.

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