Fallen Plans

As the summer starts, I’m starting to think all the plans I’ve set a couple months are starting to fall through. Right now I’m sort of scrambling with finding something to keep myself occupied with for the next a few months. Unlike last year, I think the internet will benefit from this scrambling.

I was hoping I was going to work for the entire summer. I’ve been in contact with my employer and it seems they don’t know what to do with me or I got it easy (or difficult, depending how you look at it). Now a week into June, I’m making some expensive plans for my YouTube channel and perhaps my new camera. I had everything planned; I was going to end my Life is Strange playthrough and start a summer hiatus, then I would spend the remaining days before I was slated to work to take up a hobby and go to the gym a bit more. At the moment, it seems the hobby and gym might be the largest component in my entire life until I have something to do. I might even seek employment all summer; if there is an employer who will hire me in short notice.

Short term futures right now, I have purchased a new game on Steam. It was on sale called Call To Arms, it appears to be a modern warfare RTS game I might be recording . Along with recording a new game, I’m jumping back into Insurgency and Borderlands 2. For Borderlands 2, I purchased the Collector’s Edition so I have a few DLC packs I can record. Insurgency received an achievement and map update so I’ve decided to record a bunch of compilation of some of these achievements as well as maps I’ve may or may not have played in the past. That should cover a month or so of content online. As for personal content, I will have to really coerce myself to the gym and spend the soon-to-be sunny summer days outside snapping photos and hopefully get into a bit of trouble. I promise I won’t end up in jail or on the evening news, haha!

This is all I have for now for updates and progress. Hopefully I have something to show next week.

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A Little Everyday

Recently I returned from working up north, things have been more or less back to normal with some small changes. I got back into recording videos on YouTube and writing here. However I dawned on my in a conversation with someone over Steam, I could be much different from the person I was about a month and a half ago.

As I talked to this guy, I spoke of doing good unto others and phrases which equate to righting the wrongs in the world. In a way, it’s seen in the way I play Interstellar Marines recently. Rather playing  as the guy who would run into a room with bots, I’m now reviving teammates and thinking more about my approach than gunning everything in co-op. I think somewhere I have became a bit more selfless and humble.

Like anyone who likes dining, people here partake in a customary tip. Usually a gesture of good will which amounts to 10% minimum of the goods and services rendered. Of course awhile back, I did tell you guys how I tip when it comes down to doing the deed; 10% minimum for good service and up to 20% if I enjoyed myself with excellent service. Though recently I’ve been tipping fairly well for food I would once put in 10%; I’m not giving out over 20% but I would ballpark it as 15% average tip in recent days. At the heart of the matter I feel it might have been all I’ve experienced in the past month. Hard work with very little to show for it and working a job some may revile while some revere. For me, the work I’ve dedicated myself into is more for me. Selfish as sounds, it has definitely taught me a few things about people and how they conduct themselves. It has pushed me to the limits of my personality and professionalism to show who I truly am and shockingly, I can be more than the gamer in his room writing about world.

Working my entire body into a sore mess has shown me a few things. Though I doubt it qualifies me as a counsellor of any kind, I think it’s worth sharing. Whoever and wherever you are, whatever you do; I want to know, there are people worse off than you. When I started working about 8 months ago, I knew parts of my job will suck a whole lot. Many peers I use to know, they couldn’t hash it because it wasn’t something they enjoyed. However for me, something stuck onto me that I can never take off. This job, this occupation of mine has taught me there are certain people who take the job for two either reason; the benefits or the experience. In the end, the ones in it for the experience seem to stick around longer. Indeed money talks, but the heart knows more than money can buy. So to those who take up minimum wage jobs in their mid-adulthood with family counting on them to put food on the table, I totally understand the struggle. To those who have an endowed salary, I ask of you to think of others.

Those who are getting paid well off and have everything, life isn’t about the accumulation of wealth but of the experiences you inherit. In mathematics, there are two infinities; countable and uncountable. Countable being the elements which you can quantify while uncountable infinity is the values between. Example of countable would be whole numbers from 1 onward. Uncountable are more like real numbers, 0.5762 for example; there are a lot of numbers between 0 and 1 alone. Much can be said about living and working. Many of work long shifts for very little and yet enjoy it while some work for the benefits and not necessarily enjoy their work. Some are them even worse off, they don’t like their job and it pays almost nothing; but they’re doing it anyways. Employment is much like uncountable infinity, there’s always something better but this is what you have counted for now. Anyone can have a long employment history; but the experiences you had are the uncountables, they decide the worth of the sum of your employment.

For many who have never seen the stars at their workplace, sat as the crickets chirped, seen sights so very few would only imagine in video games and dream; the longing to make it all worth it is in you. Even though you get paid a lot or none, it’s not about making money, life is not about making money but about what you do with it. Survival is engrained into us, get the resources we need for another day. When you have too much, we tend to hoard it. When we have very little, we try longer until we have it all. In the end, none of that matters. Money to me is part of the great answer I seek. I want my life to be known more than just a number, a countable number. I want it know for the moments I spent, all the uncountable moments. Moments that changed me and taught me rather than the value of all the moments on a pay check.

So until next time, let’s start counting our experiences together.

Happier

The last week picked up fairly quick with better horizons ahead of me. I have been both very active and very tired, I’ve learned I’m a bit of a workaholic; the one thing I never thought I would become. 

Starting off, I’m reaching close to being straight broke. I’m slowly reaching out for welfare to keep myself afloat. My financial situation is a good smack to the face to job hunting. Even though I have been meticulously scouring all the resources available to me, I still think I’m still far away from where I want to be. The hardest I find about this is I don’t have enough to really keep going indefinitely. In my home grown pride, I don’t feel comfortable on handouts for food and funds but I think I might have to take advantage to what I can provide myself.

Just recently, I finally got a bit of employment and even with that, it’s not going to cover everything to keep me going. It’s not enough to help me move out and not enough to live on my own even with assistance from welfare. This is the irony of being born and raised in the city; I want to live here but at the same time the city seems like it doesn’t want me around. With all these “opportunities” you read about in the newspaper or from people who are living their lives and looking at you. Reality is never black and white and never the shades in between. At least a bit of employment than no employment at all; when you’re hungry and wanting more to your life, does it matter if you’re overworked and underpaid? On a positive note since I got a position working in the food industry, I get to learn more about making food and handling money; which is good especially when it comes to customer service positions in this city.

With more to do with my life, the less I feel I have to worry and the more I can feel productive. I feel really rejuvenated yet relaxed. It’s been too long since I felt a sense of purpose and the need to move quick. In the coming weeks, I hope my schedule will be packed with work. My aim is a 10am to 6 pm work schedule during the weekdays and be on call during the weekends. At the moment like a quest, my “on call” optional is done; just have to complete the main tasks to finish the quest.

Working on it!

At the moment, I’m drifting away from recording video for YouTube because of the long down time for each video, but I am working on outputting more videos. For the moment, I’m thinking of moving on from my Banished gameplay for a little while. At the moment, I haven’t made much progress and I think I should wait awhile before I feel like I’m in the right mind to play it again. So for the time being, I’m considering of playing something else to keep my channel interesting. At the moment, I’m looking into playing games I already own or games which are freely accessible and may be fascinating to play and watch. I’m working on it; don’t you fret, audience.

At the moment, I have fallen off the proverbial horse and haven’t been keeping myself as well as I’m suppose to be. For the most part, I’ve been staying up to play video games which leads me to sleep in during the day. Both aren’t good things nor bad, only means my schedule is thrown off and I need to get back on schedule. For my old followers, you know I meander from my course from time to time to always return to it. I’ve been working on sorting out my personal issues and focusing on resolving this drought of employment. So I’ve been spending more and more time trying to get myself out together to find something to work towards. At the moment priority is source of income, then comes everything else I want to do. I might consider volunteering again like last year, though I want to work on getting paid employment going.

As for my YouTube channel, I’m not quite sure what to play to divert from Banished. I could get into Kerbal Space Program, Insurgency co-op or something else I have in my library. If you would like to see me play a game, leave a comment telling any games you would want to see me play. Preferably free or I own already. Or even send it to me on Steam at Shooter-90, I’d appreciate it! Likely do KSP in sandbox, though I might do Career mode as well,

Nothing interesting for this week’s entry, I’m just working on real life stuff and being “busy”. Just another dull week at “the office” (AKA my room).

Until next time, keep busy everyone!

Christmas, New Years and a New Game

As of today, I’ve added one more game to the list of games played. Before taking off for Christmas, I got myself into playing Blacklight Retribution. It’s a sci-fi shooter from Zombie Inc. and published by Perfect World Entertainment. Coming from one of their other products, I might as well take advantage of the account provided to me to play another game without the need of another game client. She’s a hefty download and my desktop doesn’t stand much of a chance for graphics, but I found the game to be a good change of pace from the RPG world of Star Trek Online. With the remaining hard drive space, I think this would be a good investment until I cap out like STO. I’ll probably make a review after I’ve tried as much I think is sufficient.

Thus far, I’ve signed up for the game for their recent update called “Onslaught” which is a PvE game mode addition. In short, it looks like a zombie mode. Aside from their update, I wanted to try their weapon customization. I’ve tried a lot of games with weapon modifications, but Blacklight seems to be much more in depth and I am pretty interested to see how these changes would work in their PvE and PvP environments. But anyways, more later on when I have a good feel for the game.

The current situation in real life is I’m spending time with milady for Christmas through the week of New Years before going home. Though I’m out here for the second time in the last two months, I’m going to take all the free time I have to find a job through online job boards and listings. I got to stay productive even when I’m having fun now I guess; that’s part of adulthood right? I better land a job somewhere within a couple months starting January. Even if it means planning it out by logging sent applications and such, I really need to get this done! I’m pretty into my games so hopefully I can get this done.

So I guess that’s my new year’s resolution and wish for Santa. I just want a paying job. Preferably slightly above minimum, a bit safe, laborious and I get some new  skills out of the entire deal. So Santa; please hook me up.

Until next time, happy holidays!

Stuck without games, once again

You think you are sitting pretty in you life and it gives you a quick realization how fragile life could really be. Though familiar with bad luck, it’s untimely inconvenient for my monitor to pop something internally. I’m fairly sure either something shorted out, though I’m still getting power to the monitor. This 22” I got more than half a decade finally gave in Saturday morning; which makes it the third component to malfunction in the past few years. I knew someday the day would come when things won’t work as well for my computer or I would have to replace certain parts. Unfortunately a bad time for me to be maintaining my rig.

The weekend wasn’t as tough as the last time I had gaming withdrawal, though the upcoming week could be a bit rough. From what I’ve learned, staying positive is helpful until I feel calmer and less agitated. Also finding ways to keep busy. Aside from finding a job, I’m considering to get into some volunteering. The past few weeks, I’ve been slowly looking into volunteering along with finding some employment. I did find a volunteer opportunity a few weeks ago, though I must admit it’s pretty far by walking. So I’m looking to volunteer a bit closer to home. I hope get something considering now I’m fairly idle.

Though starting to be shyly shaky and having the drifting thought of video games, keeping positive seems to be working. Good thoughts, happy thoughts. Maybe a library visit today would help me clear my head.

Until next week, happy thoughts!

Well, here we go again…

After a month of putting up with my laptop malfunctioning, I finally tried to fix it. At first it wasn’t serious, it would not shutdown properly on occasion; it either hangs or freezes. Then recently it was failing to wake after it went to sleep. Either solution was to hold down the power button, which in my mind isn’t proper procedure when shutting down a computer. Considering my laptop had an almost clean slate, wiping the hard drive again to reinstall windows wasn’t a tough choice. Rather than using the CD I used before, I chose to use the one I used when I first installed Windows 7 on my desktop.

Rather than keeping the system up to date, I’m going to keep the operating system from updating and look into every update. I rather know if I should use Windows Update for a certain update than letting every update running the risk of messing up the system again. Probably not all blame should be placed on the OS, I did have some drivers and utilities which may have conflicted with certain files. As I said before, I didn’t have any personal files so starting over was a breeze. With a stable Internet connection, I downloaded all the programs I need; CCleaner, Avast Antivirus and so on. I’ve tried shutting down and putting it to sleep; it works fine now.

I recently finished Assassin’s Creed III by blazing through the single player. It’s definitely a tougher game than the Renaissance storyline. I believe I’ve did it within 20 or 30 hours in a span of 3 days. It’s something to celebrate considering I hardly play story driven games. So I thought, why not mix Coke and vodka? I still have a third of a bottle so I mixed two shots into a can. As anyone who has drank alcohol, I don’t have a tolerance for it. Tolerance I mean in terms of the taste and consumption, I have very little of both. Also I’ve gained enough Zen points in Star Trek Online that I can begin building a Vesta from the Vesta pack. I haven’t purchased it but at the moment, I’m gathering all the necessary items so I can slot them. With the surplus gear I have in my bank, I will have to push myself into buying or hunting for engineering consoles that improve auxiliary power since the Vesta comes equipped with a cannon powered by auxiliary and I usually focus on keeping either shields or weapons powered up. Since I still haven’t made the purchase, I could buy the Kumari escort pack but I already have an escort.

While on the STO currency problems, the dilithium market is rebounding after a low of an average of 90 dilithium for over a month in the winter. For the past few weeks, refined dilithium exchange rate has steadily increased. So at 122 dilithium from my last log in yesterday, I’ve decided to continually stockpile the dilithium when I can and probably spend it on the dilithium store. Since the Kumari was added, they began adding more items to the game within this obscure store. For one thing, they’ve added a very rare Tholian hangar pet which is much more effectie than the Widow fighters you can get from redeeming the Recluse carrier. Just another way Perfect World Entertainment saying “I love you…r money.” If anything, I will buy two hangar pets and it will be the rare times I bought something in the dilithium store. Though I’m unsure what I should get, well I have a surplus of refined dilithium so I could but I would still prefer converting to Zen (hopefully soon since I doubt any one would want to trade at that price).

Coming to full circle, I’m taking the Sunday easy. Than just sitting here and finding a job, I’m heading out there in the city and hopefully find something. Maybe also get out and enjoy the sunshine. So until next time, have an amazing weekend.