Day 25 – Regrets


I haven’t been keeping up with this blog challenge. Surprisingly, I have work recently and they’ve taken me into the late night. For the one day of the week I can sit down and wide awake, regrets has to be the topic.

I think awhile ago I had a few blog posts mentioning regrets. Main regrets revolves around my personal life, relationships and social life stuff. To be honest, I have days thinking about all my crushes from high school and where they are now. Some I know have done some incredible things in their lives, yet so petty pondering about if I ever had a chance to ask them out. During high school, there were a few girls I felt somewhat attracted. In the end, I shot myself down because I felt like an awkward outsider.

As I grew older, I did meet someone I spend a short while. Short being relative to the entirety of my existence. When I met her at the time, she was an amazing character which turned into a long distance relationship. In the end, I regret letting her go. To this day, I’m still unsure what happened; looking back I can’t help to think it was my fault, at the time and even now I just want a steady relationship.

On the professional and academic side of life, I have very few regrets. I regret having professional experience, lacking it has been detrimental in finding work at the moment. I wish I had some but as I’m growing up; employers ask more of me and yet handing it off to someone younger in inexperience. If that sentence doesn’t make sense, then I’ve done my job illustrating my struggle.

As a high school graduate, I must admit there are a lot of opportunities of employment but very few employers wanting to employ only on a high school education. From I’ve seen, those without other obligations will stay employed longer than those with obligations. Still troubles me to see people around my age trying to make ends meet while finding a higher education in order to make ends meet.

The pursuit for happiness as you can see for me is and always be just; a pursuit.


Day 20 – Happiness


Happiness is a hard emotion to keep. The hardest emotion to maintain for me, I’m usually borderline happy and sad which we will cover next post. Some people live with an abundance of happiness and which to them I say I wish I had just a fraction of it.

Happiness to me comes and goes, I wish it would stay longer. There has been small moments over the past half decade. The recent was finally bring employed; not gainfully, but at least employed. It’s not much of a happy moment but a small sigh of relief.

The last time I was blissfully happy was when I took a trip to the US. It was just a series of trips I took as a way to break away from life. While I was there, I was able to see Paramore in concert. I have listened to ttheir ever since I was teenager and here I was in my 20’s listening and headbanging live to their music. In those moments during my trip, I was very happy and content.

It seems the past decade has given me more happiness than the rest of my life. Either I honestly don’t remember or I had a terrible childhood. Unfortunate, but it is the life I am given.

Money, work, happiness, life – the philosophy

I’m going to talk serious a bit considering this perspective has been preached a lot that I think it is worth sharing. Capitalism, it’s amazing. I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it. The idea of accumulating wealth is very popular, especially if you have material goods you want to get or give. Money is a tool to get it. Sometimes pretty pricey to obtain things, but usually the stuff you need is right in hand. However there is a few thing about money a few people splinter off in terms of it’s intrinsic value. For those who are googling the word, what is money worth alone? I don’t mean by the value it represents but the personal value.

Many people I have this conversation with say it brings happiness and well being. I agree with them money equals health and happiness. Food, toys, livelihood. However is that the direct effect of money? My favourite meme puts it, nope.avi. Money is a tool to procure those materials to make us happy and healthy. It is an institutional society to keep every in check to make sure everyone is contributing their fair share. Money makes sure of the fair share part. Accounting for time and skill, the money you get should ideally reflect that. It may not be enjoyable, but it gets you a socially universal currency called monies. You use it to make sure you’re alive and well to live for your next shift. From my point of view, money does not equate to happiness, but labour to procure happiness. Meaning the work you put in is the money you get to consume products to ensure the labour is optimum. In this system, happiness is intrinsic to itself but affects the money making bit of the equation. Happier you are, more money passively. You can be happy without money since you can always procure items without the artificial system to assist in procurement. Example later on after the super boring philosophical ranting.

People put money on a pedestal and eager to get as much of it before they die. A conservative and frontal approach to happiness. From my experience, don’t treat yourself like the machine society wants you to be since grabbing money without goals will get you no where. I’m talking about priceless goals, something you cannot buy but is something you want which may be physical or metaphysical. Like world peace, green future and a better community. You can throw money to it, but the real work are those who want to make it happen. You are a system, a system in a very diverse and massive system called society. You may figurative put yourself as a cog in that machine, but I think of each person like a server with a rack of servers within a massive social computer network. Your constitution is the same as the server above and below you. You have a job to do, but it is your choice to pick another job. No one picks the opportunities for you but the ones you make. Back to the money trail, you can gain everything but it wouldn’t make you any better. You might benefit from a surplus of this financial wealth, but it doesn’t buy the life you want. In short, do something you feel comfortable in doing and not what society wants you to fulfill. If you are a geologist by academics and want to just be a chef, go be the best chef ever. You make six figures in real estate but life is fleeting and you want to live every moment? Make a list and do it, just go ahead; that is free will, your life therefore your call. Don’t let anyone tell you how to operate.

I had opportunities in high school but I rejected them to do something imperative than make money. At the time I realized how precious freedom can be. Many died before us to establish these simple rules to keep us from splitting apart. They died for the ideas they believed in, the idea away from discrimination and toward tolerance and diversity. Overthrowing the oppressors for unity of a social voice where every can have an opinion and not be excluded for their differences. Imagine each of the individuals who died or tortured to express what we take for granted. They didn’t do it because the pay was good, they did it because it was a just cause. That to me is purpose. In a classroom on a cloudy afternoon, that is my revelation. I knew what I want to do, I still want it and believe it is what I truly want. I want carry on like those who died for my existence and safeguard what we already have that money can never buy; freedom. May not be glamous or safest line of work, but I would do it to protect those who want to have something to say, do, want and believe. The pay could be less than stellar, but if you would choose freedom or money; which would you really want? My view; freedom so we have a choice in what we can do in our lives rather be told what we can and cannot buy.

Life is a like a zombie survival game, folks. There is a class system, people would recommend one. But its better to play the class you’re accustomed to rather than the recommended. It might not get you far, but you will have more fun in the process.

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