22 Push Ups

Going around the internet at the moment (and a few of you already seen on Facebook or other medias) is some a bit odd. Not as odd as the ALS ice bucket challenge a few years back, but it’s a bit practical. It’s gotten popular to the point where my coworkers have drafted me into this charity drive.

In the past I’ve tried things to change up my regimen in hopes something sticks. Definitively I’ve tried to go video game free for a few weeks and a few days on my blog a long time ago. Now my friends have challenged me to complete 22 push ups per day for 22 days. Between my readers and I, I’m starting to hit a point where I’m not very frequent.

Here’s how I would describe the challenge for those who haven’t heard about it. Upon nominated in a video in someone’s push ups, you have a day to complete your first set of 22 push ups. After that, the intent is to complete 22 push ups every day for 22 days. Every single day, you are to nominate a person to do the push up challenge.

Aside from my inconsistency, my work has been disrupting the push ups. Last week I’ve been out of town and away from an internet connection. Being away means I have to pre-record or post-record another day. I feel pre-recording is a bit cheating the system but at the same time I know I’ll be a day or two behind. At the moment of this blog post, I have a few days behind my push ups because I’ve been sleeping through the days. It’s not a good thing since I have a few things to do during the day. Still have to visit the dry cleaners and get ready for another Saturday work day.

In the end, I just hope I still can finish my push ups. I’m just reaching my first week into this and I’m definitely going to need the entire month to finish.

Tenacity.

Recently, I had the opportunity to use my “once a month” airsoft budget to play again. This time rather than the shy timid person I was, I opened up to myself as the personality that I am towards my fellow players. Though I must admit I was a bit physically rough with myself with some sustained injuries, it wasn’t that painful compared to my last experience. Definitely lessons learned and points to sustain for every outing. However this time as I readied for the first round of the night (2 v. 2 team deathmatch), I felt less of the hesitation and nervousness that I feel when I try something new. Second time at the facility, I really felt ready to play. My rifle recalibrated and optics finally sighted, any fears faded and began to live here and now. As the referee counted down – “THREE”, my mind racing and thinking. Will I draw blood this time around? I am getting older, why am I living like this? “TWO”, how will this round will turn out? how will other think if my injuries was caused by these actions? Hundreds of questions until the call. “ONE”, silence. It was me, my breath and heartbeat as I drew my rifle up for the go.

Many things in my life, the best things happened in my life this far, have occurred when I’m nervous and scared. Unsure of the future, unsure of the consequences; risk and risk alone was the award for me. Yet risk and risk alone was what ended those great ventures. When I was young, I feared risk. Risk of injury, risk of loss, risk of failure. Much of the best years of my life is avoiding risk. I realize risk is what I need the most.

Life is indeed about trying new things, growing outside a shell. Though it’s not permission to go wild, it’s the steadfast determination when facing impending consequences. Being into the very moment to think and react and to not be ready what will have days and weeks beyond.

This moment in time is what we have left of ourselves. The next moment might not be the same. It could be but there is nothing to gain in a moment if it is the same. In the very moment, nothing beyond should really matter but right now. In my life, it has only happened once. The moment when my mind clears and I am in that moment. The moment when everything is nothing but what I hear, smell, touch and see. Itself in words only can quantify an infinite feeling. It’s almost exhilarating and yet I dare find it.

Lesser are my fears even if they exists. Facing them and challenging them is one thing I alone must achieve. Perhaps in it all fear is our greatest enemy but tenacity is humanities greatest weapon.

Leg Days…

This week, I started running. Fairly late into the season, but I thought after a good few weeks of hitting the pool I thought I was ready to push myself. Spoilers, I was sorely wrong.

Early in the week I started with an easy 500 metre jog. Literally felt like nothing, I think I would be able to sprint it if I could. However exercise to me is more about speed; endurance is just as important as speed itself, sometimes it’s not about outrunning your time but more of being able to go farther at a pace. A day later in the morning, I tried a one kilometre run. For people who are inclined for imperial units of measurement, it’s about 0.6 of a mile. This time I decide to push myself a bit harder. I have to admit, I’m out of shape and I felt a bit of fatigue right up to the end. Yesterday, I completed a distance of 2 km. Not much of a feat but more like muscle memory, I’m still feeling it up to this morning. I’ve been known to be physically aggressive with my own body when it comes to fitness but I know this is the tip of the iceberg.

No doubt I want to live a bit healthier on a budget, but the problem is I’m not a health nut. I don’t feel automatically motivated to exercise yet I do want to be more and do more than sitting for extended periods of time. With much consideration, I think I’m going to dedicate an hour a day minimum for physical fitness. Even at the end of the year and through into 2015, I want to be healthier. No longer this “I want to try” business. It’s been a constant for me over the summer to not exercise and now with just under two weeks of summer, it’s now all down to pushing it to the end of the year. Rain or shine, to and through the limit.

Right now, it’s a matter of consistency and variation. So far lots of cardio from swimming and running, weight training is still out of the question. A gym membership is beyond my budget, sticking to push ups would only last for a good while. I could only wish I had some weights.

Late Lifestyle Change

Summer’s ending which meant community pools are closing fairly soon. It’s unfortunate because recently I got into swimming again after half a decade avoiding it. I might have swam a few years back but never returned since. However recently though I’ve been feeling the need to exercise more. No pressure or anything, just thought about it and decided to do it. At first I did a bit of sit ups and push up and now I’m starting to take an interest in swimming. Likely not going to be competitive but more recreational for it’s health benefits.

After a week of swimming at the local pool, I already came to a few conclusions. First being I’m very out of shape. In my teens, I could swim a lap or two but now a lap is pretty much just out of reach at the moment. Regardless, I am definitely capitalize as much of the summer remaining to swim. Even on my “busy” recording schedule for my gameplay series on YouTube, I should find something outside and outdoors to do.

At the moment I’m still as hesitant as I was before with running and jogging. I think it’s more of a self esteem issue I want to confront but I haven’t gotten the gall to put up with it. Any advice to anyone with a friend with self esteem issues; if they want to confront their problems, help them at all cost. Seriously if I had a friend, I would want them to help me through some of these problems. In time, I’ll find my way through it; just will and the choice to do something about it will take me there.

On the video game front, I’ve been enjoying Kerbal Space Program a bit more. Maybe because I have a plan or a fixed time limit because of the series, but I’m really enjoying it. The career mode is pretty dull but combined with the let’s play series on my channel, I like it. I feel I can definitely share all the highs and lows. So far as of this post, I’ve been into orbit a few times, rescued a couple Kerbals, and set up two satellites around our fair planet. And of course since career has contracts, I’ve been working on testing parts for money and science to get the jobs I want done. For the moment in the future, big plans and construction plans are coming up. Mostly setting up a permanent presence in the Kerbol system. Maybe considering on some roleplay in career mode. Sky’s the limit, quite literally. Definitely a lot of plans for manned and unmanned missions. Hopefully go beyond what I already have done in the game in the past, which is travel to the two moons around Kerbin. With the ARM (Asteroid Redirect Mission) update, definitely want to showcase a bit of that content as well. Not sure when but definitely when I feel confident on orbital rendezvous.

Besides KSP, I’ve been approached by some Steam friends on playing some other games with them and maybe record some of those as one off videos. I did do a few videos in Insurgency but I found the content wasn’t that interesting. Who knows, I might record more Insurgency and maybe get working on an Unturned collaborative series. For now, my system can handle storing a regular gameplay series and some videos here and there. As far as having a parallel series in another game, that will require some help.

For now I have a good balance between KSP and swimming. I can upload while I swim, then coming back I can continue editing. That’s how life should be, balance.

Ah, headaches and arm-aches and aching in general

Grr, woke up with a nasty headache today. Like the kind where you just want to close your eyes and sleep it through or something. I want to take a Tylenol for it, but I think I can live with it. Ever since I got up I’ve been feeling my head punching me from the inside out. But I’ll keep a tablet close to me in case I really want it.

Where was I? Oh right, updates and sh-tuff. Well due to the recent three day downpour in Toronto, I’ve managed to squeeze in a lot of push ups. Even at one point, wanting to run; but the ominous clouds made it seem like a no-go. Now, much cooler than a week ago. I think I might take the opportunity to get out of my room and hike around the city. Maybe walk all the way to Greek Town or something, I said maybe.

Recently, my mind has been in a few places. Places like Star Trek Online which I’ve been watching the Dilithium exchange to get in on some cheap credits. Which by the way for anyone considering, 50% drop in Dilithium to Zen transactions so you can now buy Zen/credits at around 180-190 per credit. Which is good for me since I’m about 400 credits from my Defiant Retrofit (Tactical Escort Retrofit). Also I’ve taken some time to start playing the ground Elite STF (Special Task Force), time to get in the MK XII gear I’ve been itching on getting. The MACO ground set is done and I’m about about with getting the Omega set, so far I just need the rifle to complete it. The space stuff however I’m considering to not try since my ships seem ill-equipped for them at the moment. Currently in the C-Store, I’m eyeing on the Defiant and DS9 Bundle. Which should be easy as long as I keep logging and farming everyday for another month and a half at a tune of 185 Dilithium per credit. After that, I’ll set my sights on buying small upgrades to my accounts like additional slots to the bank and ships; maybe costumes though currently I’m perfectly fine with my Omega costume when I finished my Mk. XI ground set.

I promised to get off video games, but at the moment I feel I need a small diversion from time to time. One to three hours a day, keep each hour as far apart with doing push ups and sit ups in between them. Speaking of which, I no longer feel like a weakling; hooray! During the that long rain, I managed to exceed my personal expectation of 20 with 25 push ups. Which is still far off from my personal best of about 50-60. No doubt in time, I’ll exceed my personal best but that will be about a year away. Currently, I can do the push ups and still surpass my expected goal of 20 at a steady 21 or 22 which isn’t much but it is improvement to just barely 15 in May. I’ve haven’t been running as much as I would like, I think all I need is a running partner or someone to pull me out of bed and get me into my running shorts. Currently, I’ve been out of it for about a month and I can safely assume poor results on the first run.

But back to all the Internet stuff. Awhile ago I had a Twitter account, I’m now kind of curious if I should really get back on it. Problem with that would be, I got nothing to say in 140 characters or less. That’s why I like blogging, I can speak my mind without holding back or really reducing it to a few simple words. This Twitter thing has been around, but I’m not quite the kind of person who would use Twitter. For one thing, I think it’s kind of super lame considering it’s not very useful from where I’m looking at it in terms of personal use. To spread a message to people, that’s good and all and that’s what I do on my Facebook status as well. Arguably, it’s very ultra-light for that purpose since it does it specifically and doesn’t really have a heavy social aspect like the Facebook where it connects you to photos and other apps. If there is a convincing argument for Twitter, I might get back on it. For now, it’s going to remain pretty quiet and maybe I might want to delete the account if I ever feel the need to go on Twitter to delete it.

And now right now and until 6, I’m not quite sure what I should do for the day. Definitely outdoor time would be preferable, so maybe head downtown and check stuff out and maybe continue ready The Hunger Games series again. This makes it the third time I’m reading it; I think a good book is a book you can keep reading over and over again, like a video game. Hehe, everything comes back to video games. So “ze plan”, go outside and enjoy life and don’t come back until 6 pm for dinner.

Hope you all have a fantastic day!

Back to Dilithium Farming – Trading in Dilithium for Push Ups

I’m starting to reach to the point in Star Trek Online again. You know that point in every game where you reach exploring the content and you seem to reach the end of everything there is to see. In the current Season 6, it’s mostly filled with features with systems concerning fleets. I’m all for new content for those people who like to group up to get stuff done, but this season is mostly for those fleets. Aside from the Tholian Incursion ground combat stuff, there’s nothing for the lone wolves. Making this a deal because previous seasons had story content to enjoy, I just hope before season 7 they do have story missions for the new content already in. I think this time around, there is more focus on the cash-generating content from the Lock Boxes and Lobi Crystals. Suffice to say, they’re doing very little to expand inventory space for the new gear they’re pulling out and they’re whipping out new items like whips and swords; upside at least is most Lobi Crystal stuff is consumable but if not bound, you could have a lot on your hands to sell for energy credits. For now, I miss the whole episodic content portion from the game.

So with this disappointment, I went crawling back to gather dilithium for my Credit Store; oh wait, I mean the Zen Store. They changed up the name and converted to the Perfect World’s game currency. I kind of like it, not real opinion on it. Anyways back to farming my dilithium. It’s wicked boring and lame, but at least there are some back door ways to really get it done everyday. Still takes two hours or less, but still much of a heavy grind of about 450 to 2000 per task. And the tasks range from 10 or 20 minutes to hours because of Duty Officer assignments. Still a kick in the teeth is the long grind, but at least it’s not 5 dilithium for an hour for the Duty things. I’ve gotten to the point where I do feel like just not really play. I’ve tried it, I’m fine with not playing. The problem would be the void I would need to fill in and that void is about a couple hours on and off through the day.

So now with my mandate to be more physically healthy, I’m starting to put in more into it every time I’m tempted to play and damn, my mind wants a lot of games. When I started to jump on board into switching off the games for push ups and sit ups, I have a lot more to do. I started with something like 12 push ups. Now at a good standing 21 push ups, my arms sting but at least it’s putting me off games. Therefore making my PC into a very overpowered workstation.

All this is for a reason though, more so as I’m getting a bit more involved with myself. I’m starting to really come out of this bad three to four year losing streak. My confidence is gaining (slowly), I’m starting to really put and effort in to make right decisions than folding up and picking the choice that everyone would want me to make. All I have to do is keep at a positive frame of mind and a heavy amount of exercise. Though I am forgetting to take my medication, I think I should keep at them recommended by my doctor. However I think behind his back, I’m going to ease out a bit and focus more onto heavy amounts of exercise and positive thinking.

However, I’m still dragging my feet for a few things. Such as planning my transitional phase. Okay let’s back up a sec so I can elaborate, ever since I could figure my way out of my mental situation; I created a few checkpoints I have to reach to really get where I want to be, which in this case “living better” is an umbrella for both my life and my mental constitution. From where I looked at it, I need to start going where I want to go rather than where people want me to go. First, I get out of my really down state of mind. That’s where the pills and therapy come in, to put me in a mindset to really push for the things I want to do and take me back to that point where I knew exactly my life would take me. Would get into detail however for you guys, I can’t really tell you but I can hint it will be a very physical path to take. So the mind is where I need to be before the next step, which was the physical. Taking my scrawny body and reshaping into the physique I had in high school. Meaning getting back into the running, sit ups and push ups I could do back when I was 16 if not more. This is where I am now, between that step and maintaining a lifestyle suitable for this and fitness in general. For one thing, I don’t want to be a pile of mush sitting at a computer and throw my life away using the Internet either for work or pleasure. I want to do something that is rewarding; I mean that in a non-monetary sense, but enough to actually keep doing it. Learn abilities the school system seems eager to really not teach (hating the helicopter parents) and just really experience life however I see fit. Final step is kind of a long awaiting hobby I wanted to pick up which is airsoft. Heard it’s a pretty invigorating sport, so with every step completed I would move on to picking up and trying it for myself.

For now, I just have to get off the games…

Recovery over, time to run like crazy!

Oh man, when I woke up today; it was a relief. Yesterday I was aching in pain for the whole day from sunrise to sunset. Though, I do feel I have stronger legs after tearing them up the day before; I still have a bit of pain on my calf. I tried running on it today and it wasn’t so bad, I got in about 1.6 km which is still pretty good for a guy wincing in pain on every other step. I pretty confident once I heal up, I got that 1.5 in the bag. Just need 0.9 more and to keep pace, my pacing has been pretty fast but it’s at a comfortable rate that I’m not going to tired out so fast.

The whole week you might have noticed I’ve been posting up more than usual. I’m trying to cut back on playing videos once again and seems like the hardest task is to keep busy. So for now, blogging and running are the ways to go. I woke up just as the sun came up today and when for that nice run and went to bolster my food supply with some cereal. I’m trying to go on a carb diet of grains and minimal protein. Though I should really add more protein for optimal results. Back in the day, I wasn’t really health conscious. Guess it’s a price for growing up. The meds must be really kicking in since I’m pretty focused all day and I’ve been trying to get as much done as possible. Like I’ve been contemplating this one idea. Well, it’s more of a question.

This summer it’s been a hassle for me to find shorts considering I rarely buy them. My closet is just filled with jeans, t-shirts and sweaters (my jacket too, but that’s on a hook than in the closet). The couple pairs of pants I have that’s not jeans are cargo pants. To put to bluntly, they see more action than my jeans. I wear them everywhere since it’s so versatile. With 6 pockets of varying sizes, you can’t really go wrong. Don’t believe me? I once carried a 6 inch sub sandwich, my keys, wallet, cell phone, a small notebook, small bag of chips, pen, and a CD. By definition, cargo pants is to a purse. So why can’t cargo pants be fashionable. Of course they come in the shorts variety, but I mean in terms of a trend. It comes in handy when you need pockets and I just find pockets in jeans usually doesn’t get the job done or they would rip. And hey while we’re at it, why not a cargo skirt for the ladies? Screw the purse, wear a cargo skirt. You can store your wallet, make-up, keys, drink, toiletries, paper/notebook, pen, phone, and mace right on you. Also it leaves your hands free to do whatever you please. Sure it might sound stupid, but cargo pants is the one thing I love to wear because of that portability factor.

While we’re on the topic of of military wear, why not have a jacket or vest rather than carry a briefcase around. It’s like cargo pants, but for your chest! Ever want to sit on the couch with a beer, chips and the remote but you only have 2 hands? Cargo vest! Bringing a metal water bottle for your on the go need? Hang it off your cargo vest while you carry 2 more bottles. You’re a construction work and you don’t have space on your tool belt, what do you do? Cargo vest! Getting stabbed but your personal weapon is on your belt or purse? No problem, slip it in your cargo vest and whip it out and beat the guy senseless with your awesomeness. Don’t need that backpack kids – cargo vest!

Oh, that last week of August will be pretty much the pinnacle of my summer since I’m going to my old high school to get a reference for my application. After that, I need one more and it’s kind of hard to fit such a 5 year requirement. I’m not going to give up, I’m going to find that one person that would fit. Pretty much, I have nothing planned until then so I might just exercise and blog. But I know my notebook is going to be used more vigorously until then.

Beyond blogging and jogging, I spent some time fixing up my site a bit. Just merging categories and making a new one. So now there’s a place for reviews and such. I’m bound to do them anyways so I might as well open it up and let people take a look. Don’t expect a specific kind of review like a game or something else, but at least it’s a little diversion. I’m going to still be tinkering with my WordPress site, so be ready for some minor changes. I’m working on learning the Dashboard settings and see if I can change it up to something I’m content on. Speaking of WordPress, I’ve been adding tags to my subscription page. All this time I’ve been going to tags to look up stuff while I had this to just click and see. It’s a pretty lengthy list and I think I prefer the tags page since I have to keep scrolling for stuff and the scrolling is pretty laggy since it loads large chunks. No matter, I’m going to try and get working on those settings!

Feel free to comment and question. I will definitely try to respond.