nawkcire

Games, Tech and Blogging…I can't guarantee in that order.

Tag Archives: about me

Day 26 – Talents

I have never consider myself having any talent, I would even consider the phrase “a talentless hack” to be a complement at times. Talent in my frame of mind is an skill only a few possess. The few who acquire this skill through experience than learning academically. Perhaps talent has a bit of intrinsic value. To me, talent should be something remarkable and meaningful to a few.

Anyone can say they have talent. I wouldn’t say I’m an extraordinary writing, but 210 of you guys would disagree. I’m not a bright person, though I sometimes think of some good ideas. I don’t possess the ability to create earthly elements from my hands; except for fire, if I have a lighter. I’m not a musician, my virgin guitar in my basement would be proof of this. I’m an average gamer at best, could’ve gone pro if my parents didn’t hold me back (okay, maybe amateur or a popular YouTuber at best). So what can this talentless hack do that can be extraordinary?

Recently I went to a Christmas dinner; as much eating and drinking was involved, I stay to the late hours. Everyone was hammered and I was buzzed myself, but I stayed behind with some of the remaining guests and talked until I was ready to leave. As much as I was told I can leave after the dinner, I stayed behind to enjoy myself. I didn’t stay behind to drink or anything, I just stayed behind the people were there I would consider are kind of like family. I really did it out of loyalty, I’m not much of a drinker and I was still hungry after the dinner too.

While I was there, I sat there and listened to a lot of people talking about themselves. Most of the time for hours, sitting there with beer in hand and and open ear. Passing some small talk and just talking to the people I work with; people have some interesting things to say, advice to be given.

The oddest thing is my talent as mundane as they are, they are talents we could all have within us year round. Compassion and loyalty to others seems to be sparse outside of social circles. Whether it is the sign of the times, the world this Christmas is closing into itself rather than working towards something open and incredible.

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Day 13 – Fridge Tax

From hugaslittlehouse.wordpress.com

Two litre Orange Crush soda.

That’s pretty much in there aside from taco sauce packets from Taco Bell. As you can tell, I eat out a lot.

If I had the skill to cook, I would use that fridge to store actual food. Perhaps some day, for now I think Day 13 is a bust (sorry).

Day 12 – Books

From hugaslittlehouse.wordpress.com

I’m bending the rules on this since when I was a kid, I never read a lot of books. As an adult I’ve read more within 2 years than I have in decades before it. I think it is due to just having to never write a book report on them. The bane of my high school experience was reviewing books and materials. Regurgitation isn’t something I would like to do, but with due dates so close you have to just push it out of your mouth like a mindless worm.

The latest book I’ve read is “David and Goliath” by Malcolm Gladwell. Consists of facts and anecdotal evidence about people who think outside the norm. It’s rationalizes that physical appearance does not hinder success and the best can be the worst.

Even though I have not reread Gladwell in a year or so, I’ve been interested in a couple graphic novels from Bryan Lee O’Malley. The latest one I’ve read is Lost At Sea which revolves around her road trip in search of her belonging in the world. The book takes a philosophical turn and in the end she finds what she has been searching.

As well I’ve recently read Seconds by O’Malley which has a supernatural twist where a restaurant owner tries to perfect her world to understand the situation she belongs in is hers and hers alone. Without giving much away, it explores our need to have everything perfect but reality is nothing is perfect regardless how you put them. We are the product of our doing.

I should really read Scott Pilgrim and read other books from Gladwell, these books are really made me ponder the world.

Day 11 – Favourite F

From hugaslittlehouse.wordpress.com

In the Day 2 post, I mentioned I enjoy a diverse selection of food. As a kid growing up, I was exposed to some Asian oddities of Chinese cuisine. However I still cringe at a few delicacies, I’m into both meat and veg but there are some veg and meats I would rarely eat due to bad experience.

In no particular order, favourite foods starting with:

  1. Noodles, I don’t know why I like noodles. I like it in soup and as a standalone with some veg and meat. This is inclusive to noodles from out of the Chinese ethnic background. I like pasta like fusilli, penne, macaroni and spaghetti. It’s only 4 in that example and it’s only because those are the 4 I frequent most. Then there is ravioli, which brings me to the second thing.
  2. Dumplings, it’s like stuffed noodles. Debatable which is better, depends on the stuffing. Like noodles, this is inclusive to anything which has meat or vegetable stuffed into a pastry or staple. When I was a kid, I like minced pork and beef with bit of veg. I like my dumplings cooked a variety of ways; steamed, boiled, fried and pan fried. As long as it’s cooked and served up to me, I can probably stomach a few.
  3. Openly stuffed, since I’m doing categories this is for nothing enclosed. Food like burgers, hot dogs and sandwiches. I just like the combinations of food and veg in things so innocuous as a sandwich. Though most of the time they’re processed, I do like processed meat. Nothing’s great went consuming meat between two buns into your mouth. It’s a meal in two handfuls.
  4. Fried food, probably unhealthy out of the ten in this list. I like certain things that are fried; chicken, spring rolls, samosas. It’s nice in the winter when it’s a bit piping hot, even in other seasons it’s great to bit in and see the steam waft away from the goods. Aside from deep frying, pan frying is pretty delicious as well. Some people say burned food will give me cancer, however it’s a neat alternative to convection oven baking.
  5. Speaking of baking, I love baked goods. Cakes and pies, not forgetting pizza; pizza I believe is baked. I cannot take enough of the soft texture and the sweet or savoury taste.
  6. Sweet, savoury and spicy sauces, I’m not leaving condiments behind. Sometimes good food is best complimented with a condiment. I favour the sweet and savoury, BBQ sauces and the sweet and sour things. On occasion, I do go out there and grab the hot sauce. Not the hottest of the hot sauce, but something with a kick. There are some thing that’s worth the spices.
  7. Soup, large bowls of soup is incredible. Best consumed when sick but even better on a chilly day. It’s homely and can be timelessly rustic. I remember I spent an entire month on a pho noodle soup binge. It’s so delicious to have noodles in a beef broth and having herbs suspended in this dark boiled goodness.
  8. I also have a sweet tooth, candy is something I enjoy in frequently but I do like gummy candies as well as hard candies. I remember when Skittles had the sour skittles, it was the first time I really had a sour candy and that got me kind of hooked onto sour candy. Unhealthy as it is, it’s a nice treat from time to time.
  9. Soda, fizzy and sugary. It’s liquid candy. Before you ask, “Eric, Coke or Pepsi?”; I’m both, some days I like to drink the crisp taste of Pepsi and sometimes I want to grab a Coke for it’s smooth after taste. Awhile back both had their release of cherry flavoured cola and they have their line of lime cola and for both, I’ll take my Cherry Coke and Sprite. Then there is the Dew, Mountain Dew is great when I’m not consuming any food; a nice drink for just lounging.
  10. Fruits, it’s nature’s candy! Sweet and delicious and for the work you put in cleaning and peeling, it’s great. I usually stick to eating bananas, apples and oranges; however grapes are are pretty great since you can eat one and save the rest for later. Same with strawberries and cherries.

Now if you excuse me, I have a taco to eat because this made me hungry.

Day 9 – What’s in my wallet?

This is a pretty awkward post.

As a guy in the

hugaslittlehouse.wordpress.com

This is a pretty awkward post.

As a guy in the millennium, my wallet no long carries any money. Yet still my wallet contains a pocket for bills. Now I have it as a storage for business cards primarily than for cash, occasion I line it with a 20 when I need to be at a cash only affair.

The odd little thing in this nylon accessory is a pouch. I never knew the reason behind it but the best I can place it is it’s for small change which I don’t usually keep on me. Right now, it holds my fare for public transit.

So without cash, I carry cards and I do carry a lot of cards. Rather than describing every card, I’m just going to list them off. Aside from my bank card, I have:

-G1 driver’s license (AKA, my learner’s permit)

-EB Games/Gamestop reward card

-AirMiles card

-My doctor’s card with my appointment schedule

-Receipts (I don’t know why, but I have them)

-Business card for my part time job that I don’t go to very often

-Membership to Mountain Equipement Co-op

All of them filed into 3 card slots into my wallet. I try and keep what I need in there, but as you can tell there is some things that don’t belong.

Day 8 – 5 Current Goal

hugaslittlehouse.wordpress.com

I am surprised I’ve managed to keep this up for the past week. Surprising is the range of difficulty some of these topics. However, let’s get on to my current goals.

I am not much of a goal setter. I usually don’t plan for anything and improvise everything. Somethings I do well to prepare myself but when it comes to planning to complete goals is something I’m never good at because I am and will never be a completionist. Rather than focusing into one thing, I like to spread out and find my personal worth in skills. Instead of going to school to learning a skill to fit in, I want to learn those skills through experience and if I like to participate then I would have found one of many things I can do. Though I don’t have goals, there are some aspirations I have for my life. The question of whether I will have or not have these aspirations is another thing.

  1. I would like to have a steady job I like doing. It’s not about making money, but a job I can feel most productive in, something I like to contribute towards, and the wage I earn can pay for all the things I need; food, shelter and entertainment.
  2. I would like to have a place to call my own. A nice condo or a house in the city, the unfortunate circumstance is living in the city raises the cost of living. Property is expensive and owning a house would take a lot of planning and money. However if played right, there is so much diverse food choices. I spent a month north and I realize I sometimes take food for granted here.
  3. If I were to live anywhere now, I would have to get a car. In the city, you are limited to how far you can walk or where public transit can take you. Though I do have an expiring G1 (my learner’s permit), I never fully committed to getting my full G license to drive. The only reason is I wanted to get my license was to carry an ID. Now that it’s expiring, I might just consider on getting an ID card rather can a license of some sort. Back to the idea of a car, it would be nice to drive and find some neat spots around the city where I can watch the sunsets in the summer. Maybe do some road trips by myself or with someone.
  4. Speaking of someone, I would like to have someone special in my life. I want to share my life with someone. There are so many things which are best spent with someone you care about and enjoy their company. I’ve went out and had dinner alone, went to the movie as just myself, walked and shopped alone. The experience is so mundane and boring alone yet it could be more interesting if I had someone to share the moment.
  5. Happiness is something mostly spoken about, but only a handful experience it for a long time. The longest time I was ever happy was about a year. I felt just comfortable with myself and with how everything was going. At the moment, I feel a bit neutral. Not so happy, not so sad; I just know I could do better. I would like to be happy and comfortable with my life rather than worrying. I just want to pick up my head up and look around feeling good.

As you can tell, I have much to go  before anything on here will happen.

Day 3 – Quotes

From hugaslittlehouse.wordpress.com

Quotes to me are fragments of wisdom people want to remember. They are the lessons learned, the hard fought battles, the bits of an entire story. The entirety of an experience summed into an odd sentence. Usually catchy and wise; however I never found a good quote that would help me in my life. Nothing seems utterly relevant than sticks to my being.

For this post, I’ve spent a solid hour searching for a quote. Though some were fascinating, all of them seemed like something I wouldn’t necessarily quote. Of all the scholars and athletes, from philosophers to thespians, I cannot in the life of me find something worth quoting for myself.

Though in the laundry list, I can see tomorrow will be more productive than today’s entry. I can feel safely honest yet saddened I couldn’t place a quote for you guys. If the world had something to say, it has already been said. If not once then many times over and I don’t think it would make me any more enlightened.

Like this post, this too shall pass.

Day 2 – 20 Facts About Me

From hugaslittlehouse.wordpress.com

Long list ahead, you have been warned.

  1. I’ve lived in my hometown all my life. There are times I want to move out of this place. However her vices keep here; variety and culture keeps me grounded.
  2. I started my blog to just vent out my problems. I realized a long time ago, I was mostly depressed because of having everything pent up inside. Having an outlet of it all has calmed me down. I still have have so much to improve upon.
  3. While we’re on the top of mental illness, I have ADHD. It does seem like I do anyways. All the symptoms are there if you have ever read up on ADHD. If you haven’t, here are a few things about ADHD: trouble with completing tasks, difficulty focusing, easily distracted, poor social skills. I try to think of it as a personal trait than something that inhibits me. If anything it’s made me honest and observant. Knowing I might have something has made me realized “normal” is a subjective state. “Normal” is to fit the general population, if 50% wore top hats then you could say it’s normal to wear a top hat. If that is the case,”normal” is something I won’t want to be because it stagnates and gets boring.
  4. Favourite food is a hard choice. I like sweet and savoury foods. I like chocolate and candy, especially gummy bears. I’m omnivorous so I like to eat certain animals, mainly chicken, pigs and cows. I would say if I wanted to sit somewhere and watch the world to pass in from of my eyes, definitely a medium steak with a side of grilled veg and maybe a can of soda. I like noodles so spaghetti and ramen are on the table.
  5. There are few things I found beautiful and nothing would seem to taint those memories. I once laid in a field and watched the stars and moon travel across the black velvet sky. I have sat in a coffee shop and watched the sun set and let the shadows of skyscrapers cover the world. Now the sad thing…
  6. Of all the beautiful things I’ve seen, I’ve done them alone. I think that is all I can say about it. Definitely life is worth more with loved ones, will I find her? We shall see.
  7. Favourite colours: green and blue.
  8. Music: Paramore and Taylor Swift, you will realize it by day 7.
  9. I have spontaneously slow danced with someone. It was romantic and awesome.
  10. I’ve been told many things about my personality. Mostly I’ve been told I’m “sweet”, “kind”, “honest”, “loyal”. Which…cue #11!
  11. I think of myself differently than what people see. I guess I have an inferiority complex or something. Sometimes I feel I’m not good enough or undeserving, I put forward more effort and just feels like the same. I have a lot of unresolved issues, but I try.
  12. I still listen to the music I use to listen to in high school. Proves to you that some things never change.
  13. PC Master Race, consoles are inferior due to hardware restrictions. Come at me, console gamers!
  14. The only graphic novels I’ve read were from Bryan Lee O’Malley, the  author of the Scott Pilgrim series.  Which I have not yet read; perhaps soon?
  15. Video game series of all time: Grand Theft Auto. Especially GTA 3 and onward because the worlds are large and players have a lot of things to do. I have only played San Andreas and GTA IV, but I would like to play GTA V when I can. As for genre, I like open world games where you can go and do your own thing without walls.
  16. Blue skies are better than stormy weather.
  17. Summer is better than autumn. However autumn is better than spring. Winter gets no love because Canada is cold during the winter.
  18. I like to work out as much as I can.
  19. I would like to play video games as a career. I think I’m getting a bit old for it, but who knows what the world might give me.
  20. I’m a terrible liar.

#200 – Woop woop!

I intentionally wanted this as my 200th post. This is technically 201, sorry!

Huzzah! I have written over 200 posts on WordPress over a span of a few years. Though I quietly celebrated 100 posts, I think 200 is a bigger accomplishment. On the occasion, I want to reminisce back on the last 200 posts and give you folks the view on this side of the Internet.

Origins

When I started this blog, it was for a few reasons. During the time, I was a pretty angry person. Just pent up with anger that I just needed an outlet. I didn’t really have anyone to vent to; the only times I ever felt like I was myself and calm was when I was writing. Not just journal writing, but a medium where someone will read it and maybe people can share or chime in. I wouldn’t say my blog is a success story, but I can say I’m calmer because of it.

I tried vlogging a few times, all failures. For one thing, I had to edit them intensively. Devoting an hour of unpaid work for a few minutes was not feasible for me, not even now. That and also I find my voice and face pretty unattractive. Maybe some day, I will vlog.

So I decided to blog, choosing the host site was problematic since there were a lot of blogging site. For awhile a was milling about having it on Blogger. Just before I had this blog, I was still in high school if you can believe it. One of the classes had me create a Twitter, I never update the thing after I got out of the class. Microblogging  like Twitter is not as appealing as a medium that doesn’t restrict you on the amount of content to can put out. Sure I can have parts to a tweet; but if you ever read my long posts, you will know this isn’t very scalable. Tumblr was pretty hip during the time, but it’s seemed very much of a popularity contest to get content features. I’m not funny or an adorable cat so I couldn’t really be sucked into that drama. WordPress seemed to be a good choice since the community was somewhat inspiring and the interface was and still is very understandable and not super user friendly. One thing I like is the fact I have control over a lot of things on my blog.

As I said, I was pretty angry so I thought to let it all loose. Every time I had something to say it would be a long rant. At the time, my free time was a warpath in video games. I was playing up to 8 hours a day, “hooked” would hardly describe it. You think it would make me violent or more angry but it helped me calm down a bit after a day of before the day starts.

“One Post a Week”

This was my mantra and usually still holds firm. At the beginning I feared I might burn out if I put out a blog post every day or every time I finished one. So I thought to release one every half week, but I still thought  burn out was pretty short. So once a week sounded pretty reasonable; weekly content and I can think about each topic and prep a good list of topics to hit on before I publish it. Aside from this, it allows me to supplement with new content that might be relevant for the week. For those who have followed since post #1 would know sometimes I publish one or two more for the week. I sometimes I have a different topic I wanted to touch on before I forget it. But I try to stick to a schedule of one a week even though sometimes I might be early or late on a post date. I do this on my free time which at the moment I have plenty of; if I drop names, I drop it because I like it not because I’m not being paid for it. Yeah Allahweh, I’m talking to you; name dropped.

That ADHD!

I’m never up front about my mental condition since society has a monopoly on taboos. People don’t really know how it feels to be ADHD or try and play it up as “well, you’re just lazy” or “why can’t you sit still for 5 seconds?” It’s very tough to explain from my point of view if someone asks how it feels. The way I put it, it’s a good thing if you can control it or at least manage it and a bad thing if it’s slowing you down. In a way, it’s a gifted curse. I allows me to broad my horizons and learn things in general, but academic performance would vary. I may not hold many post-secondary qualifications, but I can study bits of it and get what it’s about. People will tell me it’s not right, not normal. To me, being right or normal is never the point of living. If it was, everyone would be perfect and boring. And if you know me, perfect isn’t normal. Perfect is an idea and not a way of life. Life is imperfect and in itself, is unique between everyone. In short, being imperfect makes you a more unique individual.

Randomly Yours

If I could somehow let you into my mind, you would see some crazy stuff and maybe hear some very random ideas. It’s not a hallucination, but it would be all the stuff I daydream and think of from a day to day basis. I always wanted to put it in perspective for those who don’t really know how it feel like you have a lot to say but no necessary outlet – or you just forget about it and when you remember, you say “Dang it!” So here I go to emulate in words of stuff in my mind.

I got to email this guy. But first, Chrome –> Youtube, Facebook, WordPress. I wonder if anyone still uses writes “Facebook” as “FaceBook”, I use to remember a few people who did that. Same with YouTube. Was WordPress use to be known as WordPress? Gotta watch this video, watching this video linked here. I wonder if there are any Facebook update. I wonder if those bloggers have anything new posted – tab up! Note to self: write blog post. I got ideas right? Well, probably come to me when it comes to me. Crap, I got to pack for that trip. Huh, the more I think about it my neighbourhood is pretty good to hide in the zombie apocalypse. Assuming each building houses an average family and most buildings are detached so they can’t jump and get me. Being a Canadian, so firearms are going to be hard to find. Unless someone on my street secret has a firearm or a police car happened to stop right there before the end of the world. Though it would be semi-likely to find a cop car within 4 blocks from me. If there isn’t a cop car, there are a couple school nearby. I could raid the janitorial closets for a shovel or something. Maybe fashion myself a spear with safety scissors. Hah! Most people would say large populated areas are pretty bad for a zombie apocalypse so the local malls are out of the question which sucks since there’s just a large gold mine of materials to loot if it came down to it. Probably for the best is to gather food and materials and go self-sustaining.The local supermarkets sell seeds so get a small wind turbine or something steam powered for an underground or backyard greenhouse and surplus power for anything interesting. There should be a game like that. Just a video game where you gather junk and craft it into barricades and stuff to survive a zombie apocalypse. There use to be a television reality series on Discovery, The Colony. If there was a video game, it should be closely to that. Huh, I remember there use to be a season 2 of that show; did they every make a third? Google it! Well, I spent a good 6 hours on YouTube and still nothing done today. I feel like playing video games.

Without reason or provocation, I would sometimes have some good ideas and sometimes my head feels like it’s riffing random thoughts and things I should do. I can’t stop myself aside from drowning my thoughts with music or just trying to hang on working on one task. Even with that, my mind can permeate through the noise. Whatever you want to call it, right or wrong, that is me and that makes me unique.

Going On, Going Strong

After 200 posts with almost 80 subscribers, I can say it’s fairly unexpected anyone would hear a lowly voice. Starting this blog had only one goal in mind, an outlet. I always come up with ideas and opinions that strike serendipitously and the forays into games which lead me to this very point where I am content with what I have. It’s small following, but no doubt I am very thankful I have this very opportunity to share to the world at large what I think about it and what I think about myself. I don’t expect to possess the best material on WordPress, but I do want to try and aim for the best material I can ever provide. As for number 200, lets celebrate it by bringing back my old Twitter account? Yeah, why not!

Thanks for those of you following, liking, and subscribing; here’s to 200 more posts!