Day 20 & 21: The good, the bad and…well, more of the bad

Yesterday was pretty great, my sister surprised me in buying a coat. Then we went on to eat dinner at a pretty late hour. Though I did manage to stop by a board game store and buy the dice I need for Dungeons & Dragons. So it was really worth it to kill a day doing stuff in the frigid cold and not to mention the snowed dumped in a couple nights ago.

Went I got home it was pretty late, like 10 and 11 I think and passed out on my bed. Apparently I had an appointment before 4 in the afternoon. I only realized this fact once I woke up about 4 seconds after being conscious. My reaction was something along the like of multiple eclipses  followed by a thunderous “OH CRAP”. I guess that’s what I guess for getting off video games the same day I get an appointment of some medical professional. Well, I have to reschedule now and hope it will be soon. On top of today’s fails and follies, I woke up to a bloody lip due to the dry air in my house and I still have my socks, sweater and pants on so I woke up all sweaty. This day is getting horrible. On the upside, I can play video games again. Well, I can choose to. Though I don’t really want to lose progress, but I need an outlet for some rage and anger. I just can’t hold it anymore; I need to stab, slash, shoot, drive, crash, run off, cast, blow up, or assassinate something. Yeah, video games is kind of my creative outlet…for destruction (and my problems). Though I am happy I made it through 21 days and having today a rough day out of them all. So this is the end of that long program with all my headaches and whining and weakness and stuff.

So I have to reschedule incurring a 80 dollar fee, totally bull but “play the game” right? So I have to get to bed early tomorrow and wake up at 12 or sometime pretty early so I can get dressed and haul ass. And I’ve sifted through my emails and I’ve fallen in love with this message about to watch History’s Museum Secrets. I was always a fan of history and wonder and beauty of a former time, I think we overestimate the power of the past. So consider that link a recommendation for those history buffs or those high school people who want to learn stuff . I’m definitely going to favourite and watch all the episodes. What are your favourite educational series, readers? Leave a comment, I’m curious.

Well, I’m going to settle down for the evening and relax and maybe considering giving video games another chance.

Until tomorrow, post comments and recommendations. Thanks for reading!


Day 18 & 19: Sleep, snow and cereal.

Second last update on my progress to beat video games. First off, yeasterday involved hours of sleep and eating cereal. Not much just sat around, ate, slept, pooped, slept and showered (did I mention slept?). It’s been mostly an uphill battle, I’ve been getting a on and off craving since day 10 or so and usually when the cravings come I try and sleep it off. Looks like fighting with myself is pretty hard considering the last two days seem very ominous that my mind wants to go down with a fight on this.

So today’s going to be nice and easy. My sister invited me over for dinner, but I’m not too sure if I should go. It just snowed last night so it’s bound to be a bit chilly. All day I’ve been just watching T.V. and eating bowl after bowl of cereal. I guess I might, I have to get out of the house and away from my computer.

Well, 19 down and 2 to go. I’m doing pretty good besides all the headaches and sadness. I’m going to see if my sister planned anything for that dinner. Until monday, have a nice weekend!

Day 17: Board games and coffee…best..combo…ever!

Yesterday went pretty well. I woke up pretty cranky but my pills took care of that. Then my sister wanted to get dinner with me and we did; so we went back to the same Korean place the day before. After we went to this place I wanted to check out; Snakes and Lattes. I actually like the idea of a clean place to drink a coffee and play a couple board games with friends and such. Though there’s a $5 per head to play, it beats watching a movie. Anyways, it was pretty neat; we stayed there for like a good five hours just playing random games and chatting. It helped get my mind of video games (I’m off video games, not board games for 4 more days). Though this is kind of late to type. I though I would send this one out early morning than forgetting and putting into a longer blog. I know you guys hate reading long blogs; to the point, am I right?

This whole week, I’ve been obsessed of going back to my teenage roots. In this case, I wanted to go back to listening to all the music I use to listen. So I started listening 30 Seconds To Mars, Cute Is What We Aim For, Paramore, Taylor Swift, some All American Rejects, Panic At The Disco and Fall Out Boy. I kind of miss those days of just really good rock music (in my opinion, it’s good). Just those that really have a deep meaning or enough to drown the world away and be flooded with music. I miss those days where I would just lay in bed with my eyes closed and my music blaring to take me away from stress. Now I’m always worried that I might go deaf or waste my life away (or both) so I haven’t really done it so much. Actually; more I think of it, I don’t really could remember any great euphoric moments of my life. Seems like I fall into one disaster into another. Huh…huh…man, my life feels so empty and unfulfilled and I’m so young. I feel like I lived half a century and not noticed.

If you’ve been nit-picking at my blog, I’ve been adding hyperlinks as a courtesy in case anyone wants to check out some of the stuff I’ve done and stuff that I found interesting. Making it easier to pass some news for my awesome readers of tech and life and such (insert pat on your back here)! I’ll try and do it more often, but I just like typing rather than editing. I just like to just “shoot the shit” for a lack of a better definition. It’s just something great to do when you need to get something off your chest plain and simple.

Plans for day 18 are pretty much read some of your comments and such and maybe respond since I would like to read some interesting responses and maybe get into some discussions on other blogs like I always do. Then get more stuff off my chest and give you a nice little daily progress report and how I plan this home stretch.

Until tomorrow (or later today for those who are in Thurdays right now), have a quiet morning and hug your love ones and tell them what you think about them.

Appreciate the comments. Here’s a new one to think about, what do you miss about your teenage years? The music? The style? Your friends? All the random stuff you use to do?Anything, anyone, anywhere, anyway? Sharing is caring!

I’m bushed from board games so I’m going to crash until I can type again. Nighty-night!

Day 15 & 16:Today and the future

Here’s a new update on my battle on gaming. Day 15 and 16 has been pretty slow. I’ve ate a lot of food in the last two days. I’m now up at 2 meals and 4 snacks a day, if you count KFC and pizza as snacks. I’m seriously packing in the pounds and I’m not even guilty about it.  The cravings are slowly going away. However, they seemed to focus themselves somewhere else; in tech and gadgets and the like. I’m about under a week to go and I got high hopes to pull through this. Today, I might go out and visit my sister and do some stuff. But I doubt I really feel like it; family’s family right?

During lunch on CTV (local television network), I saw a little segment discussing the next 50 years of Toronto and it was very interesting to see what we have and how it will play out in 50 years. Remember Google’s driverless car? What about the problem of urban sprawl? In my opinion, I’m pretty realistic on what’s going to really happen (Y2K changed how I think. Kids under 10 who don’t know what Y2K is, ask your parents…or your older siblings.). In my opinion, not much will change in 50 years overall. All things concerned, I think this is how I think we would turn out; by we, I mean my fair city. First off, commutes wouldn’t change much. It’s highly unlikely city hall will spend millions after millions to widen roads or close down residential neighbourhoods to make room for highways and large arteries. If anything, city hall will focus more on making the downtown core more bike friendly and pedestrian friendly. That means public transit and sidewalks will be a very dominant issue. As the borders blur between cities, I have a feeling urban sprawl will see a change as well. What I mean is that more incentive to have business to be located in small dense areas. If this happens, then likely the change in commuting would change since businesses would be more local in terms of employment and by address. Though I can see a lot of changes recently. Most apparent is buildings converting to solar power and small contributions such as energy efficient power bars last fall. Though globally, I do see more progress towards urban agriculture. Example being more lands used to cultivate and a more social awareness to grow and produce locally. Though I doubt this would really happen, but the urban farm is very tangible in the near future. Technological progresses will follow suit. I doubt wi-fi would disappear at all. I think it would be more accessible in terms of where it is and how to get to it. This would be a leg up to portable media. You would able to access a vast amount of information at a moments notice. Also with the rise of portable everything; social networking, journalism and activism would likely be more visible. It’s visible now, but I think it would be more mainstream. All in all, too much too late. People will starve and become homeless, stuff will still be expensive and I doubt there will ever be much follow through.

Well, time to plan the last 5 days of my mental health program. I’m pretty good knowing I’m almost there. January ninth, here I come!

Until tomorrow, post comments on how the next half century will turn out; I like reading what people have to say. I’ll see you all tomorrow, everyone. Have an easy first Tuesday of 2010!

Day 14: Urge to technically perfect MMO

Day 14 – I thought I would never make it this far. I’m really pulling out of this I think. I got about 7 more days. Next Sunday’s going to be make or break when I finally click on one of those programs and see if I can withhold the evitable urge to shoot, zap, slash, command, and cast magic. I still have that overwhelming withdrawal feeling which is making me eat, sleep and think about games too much. Nonetheless, I’ll try and get through it and hope I might win this one for myself. If not, looks like there is no hope of losing this feeling.

All this time, I’ve been getting these odd dreams. Most of them were mash-ups of the games I’ve played or seen. This one I had woke me up in a cold sweat. I dreamt I was the desert defending this house from the ravenous undead. Some reason I had to hold on; looking around I saw a few others manning the windows on the second with the piecing sounds of gunshots filling the air. Then through my eyes everything started to fade into darkness and going ever so slowly. Then in an instant, I started to experienced going through these huge buildings in a methodical fashion. It was dark, damp and seemed almost abandoned. In my hands was a rifle, readied to fire at a moment’s notice. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, just searching in the flickering darkness of the glass ridden debris filled hallways. When I got to the end of this corridor, a door presented itself in almost pristine condition. When I opened the door, there was a large opening where there once was a room and just beyond was a dark, damp day. As I looked out, I saw these spacecraft fly over head. Their markings seemed to indicate they’re man-made. They encircled these large towers; almost spires which remained intact as most of the buildings around them are crumbling and the sound of weapons fire echoed through the fog below me. It was truly an odd feeling. When I awoke, it felt like I lived through months rather than hours.

Yesterday, I was sitting around thinking about the few things I like about MMO’s. The most of my likes were systems that worked pretty well overall. First of all weapon modifications and crafting. I always really like those in fantasy and sci-fi. However the thing I dislike is the probability factor most have when adding towards the stats of the weapon. However there should be more realistic modifiers than giving you stats. Well more I think of it, I really dislike stat based combat in general since usually the better modified weapons and armour. Also combat should be more chaotic and if it is AI vs. Human. Most games I see, I’ve seen like 5 to 10 AI to every human, I think this isn’t enough in terms of combat considering an average gamer can easily track down 5 at time; even for me, 5 is easy. In terms of ratio it should be a lot more, I always thought 1 human to 20 or so AI to add pressure to the players. But that’s factoring on intelligence of the AI. On top of that I think games should have more complex spawns and triggers to add a more diverse strategies. Out of the list is terrain and terrain area. My pet peeve is just terrain size is usually pretty small and usually features linear gameplay or features a few full structures and a marginally acceptable terrain.

If I could have it my way, I would keep it focused to classless combat and challenges. First off, it would pretty sci-fi with a mix of modern. Modifying weapons would be pretty reasonable like optics would put you into the optics (also ironsights) and armour and items would have negative speed modifiers (ie. weight). This would turn out pretty good since players can pick and choose how to play but with certain limitations. There wouldn’t be much of a level progression system but more focused on wit and intelligence of the actual player and challenging them through cryptic puzzles and interaction with NPC. Example of one of these puzzles is to turn the English language to a made up language and having players to decrypt it to earn something awesome which may involve killing stuff. As well, the game logs the amount of time and successful so some background NPC actually provide you some challenges that are really just more tasks for items and such in one of the languages players have already encountered and been successful of deciphering. Of course there are items to help with this but would decrease the probability of gaining some good gear. This would balance out some of play styles of the puzzlers and the FPS’ most games don’t really have so there is something for casual and hardcore gamers rather than having a really linear system that governs the overall progression. That’s just a few things I would like to see in a game I would make.

But anyways, I’m going to water some plants and eat a whole lot because I still have those cravings for something really delicious.

Here’s my question for you guys and gals, how’s your new years? Party hard or hardly partied? Leave a comment below, I like comments except for those generic ones that seem unrelated.

Secondary question since I’m all hyper for a hungry person, what would be your perfect game?

As always; comment and suggestions below. Have a nice Sunday…first Sunday of 2011!

Day 13: New Year, Not Doing Much

Evening everyone and happy New Years to those reading in 2011. My day has been less than spectacular. I’ve been sitting around surfing around WordPress and YouTube. I also to a long monotonous walk downtown to hunt for this charger I need which looks like I don’t have a chance of ever finding. I’m just at home now, thinking of something to do until I watch the ball drop. I got two channels set on my T.V. so I can watch the countdown at City Hall and a New Years special on the CBC.

I think my hunger has increased a bit more and I’ve been aching to eat a lot of things today. Also, I’ve been scratching myself lately. Not a good sign but I feel super itchy all over, it’s just ridiculous.  AT least I’m not drawing blood, though I should stop (scratch…scratch…scratch…). I’ve been also hydrating more regularly than I use to. But that sleep issue is still over me, probalem being I can’t sleep at night and I feel super tired through the day. I have to endure it if I’m going to see the ball drop. Probably after, I’m going to fall asleep.

For that very day of the new decade, I’m going to take it as easy as I can and sleep to avoid playing video games and maybe stay in bed, write poetry (I know I keep saying it, I’ll do it…pinky swear!), and try to do more than I did in 2010. I’m not making any New Years Resolutions since they’re pretty cliche and I think it would be easier to be more realistic than “lose weight” or “spend more time with loved ones”. I was never that type of person anyways. I guess add in “play less video games” since I really want to stop playing a copious amount of first person shooters and RPG’s.

I would go downtown to City Hall and watch the bash. There are a few things that deter me from going, one of them being bands and singers I don’t know. The other thing is my social situation is pretty lonesome since everyone brought their friends and I would be all alone.SO it’s another of those events I will never go to but at least I can watch then crash on my bed right after. Huh; I just noticed I’ve been sober since like New Years 2008. Well, no alcohol this year; I’m not a drinker either.

Well I’ll let you all do your celebrating and maybe nursing a hangover.

As always, post you rcomments about new years, resolutions and stories about 2010. Happy new years!

Day 11 and 12: Stargate and Stuff

I didn’t blog yesterday sp this is kind of an update of day 11 and an planning blog for day 12. Currently I really have something really planned. So far, I still have to make a couple phone calls. Besides from that, it’s just wait for spring. I’m not really inspired just sitting here and I really need to find a place of total contemplation and reflection so I can really pull through in writing poetry.

(Next paragraph is my nerd-gasm for Stargate. May contain spoilers, read on!)

Recently, I heard Stargate Universe is not going to be on SyFy. It’s a shame when people don’t really understand the stylized concept of the series. The first season was pretty good, it really stuck to original series but really spun it to their own live action tale of the human condition and emotional endurance. The arcs that never finished in the last seasons of SG-1 really come to light. For a few of those I especially enjoyed was the Lucian Alliance, the free Jaffa and the origins of the Ancients. Though the Jaffa was somewhat explained but there could be lots of good material; but in my eyes, they could really work in a video game. Most particular concept of Universe is the rusted features which is questionable but reasonable. Most of the internal and external areas of the Destiny is rusted, however, it requires the presence of oxygen to produce iron oxides. So if that is rust on the outside of the ship, that’s almost unlikely to impossible since the last time I checked, it’s in an under  –200 degree Celsius (under –400 Fahrenheit for those counting in imperial). The inside is a plausibility however, thought the starting sequence of the first episode suggests depressurization prior to the Stargate from opening. Counter argument would be that during it’s time on auto-pilot, it sustained weapons fire from energy based weapons causing oxidation. That I would give some thing too, though it would be unlikely if it doesn’t pose a threat. That was a good tangent, but the characters are really believable and sound very realistic with their perks and flaws. This is a first where the franchise took itself a bit more seriously but keeps an injection of witty punch lines. By the half of the second season, I was on edge. I’m not going to go into it except to suggest to watch. To me, I always enjoyed how the writers took Stargate into a more than just another Sci-Fi. In it’s own right, it’s very artistic in both visual and theme using the Gate as story telling device. Though flaws about Universe is that it shifts from the Gate to Destiny. Within the one and a half seasons, they really brought in more story arcs that could last another season to explain. But a good series is one with complex story arcs that end with something highly climatic. Like SG-1 and Atlantis, they ended in closing one or two arcs with ships and fireworks (Even Star Trek took it in that direction in the 90’s). Anyways, would suck to see one more favourites down the drain. First the game gets the boot by the end of the month and now the series.

On a lighter note, it’s not officially the halfway point and I think I stopped kicking and screaming for video games. I still wanting my fix badly. But beyond from that, 10 more days to the clear and hopefully I don’t abandon the plan until then. So plan of the day is to make that phone call I’ve been postponing. Wait, it’s the holidays. Okay, maybe in two weeks. For now, I guess a meal is in order. Then likely hand around on the second last day of the first decade of the 21st century.

As always, feedback is appreciated and stuff. Happy new years and if you’re drinking, don’t drink and drive!

Day 10: Half way but half ass

Afternoon, I just had a wonderful lunch of pasta and sausage. I know I promised that retrospect, but I decided to scrap that idea since my memory of 2010 is pretty personal and short. But without a shadow of a doubt, I’m still going strong in fighting my addiction.

Today, my headaches stopped sort of. I can still feel my head throbbing like mad, but it doesn’t hurt as much. I still feel tired and pathetic; but hey, my 9 day headache is almost gone. I think I might pull through this, I just to hang in and hold firm. Definitely sitting here and typing than playing really makes the difference. Rather than shutting down, I’m just letting it out and just calming down. Well, not really calming down; more like being open of my unfortunate situation. My sleep cycle is still out of whack, I might have to tweak around a few things to get it right. I just hope I don’t relapse; or worse, get through this all over again.

You know how you were a kid and you had that one thing that made you happy and without it you feel pretty sad? That’s me and video games. Like most of my childhood was video games. It raised and taught me the finer details in life no mater how obscure or exaggerated they are. It was always there to reward and punish me. The one thing I turned to when I need to be comforted and feel needed. Listen to me going on like this; but that’s the underlying truth, video games is my only friend and it’s hard for me to turn my back to something I really put my trust in. Without it, I just feel empty inside like I lost a part of myself.

The plan today is to nap considering I only slept for 3 hours, then maybe make a couple phone calls and maybe try and call whoever reached my cell phone yesterday during my walk. Apparently, someone called and I didn’t feel my phone vibrate. I’m that kind of person who doesn’t want an auditory distraction, there’s just too many phone like that. So I took a simple and polite approach to my phone and just set it to vibrate so it doesn’t annoy anyone. After I took my necessary rest, I think I’m going to have either eat or type more to get away from the game icons. I really need some inspiration since I haven’t written a poem since November. Maybe bug my girlfriend a bit when she’s not busy.

As always, sharing is caring so leave a comment or suggestion. I’ll will definitely be seeing you all tomorrow!

Day 9: Updates and really nice stuff happening (sort of)!

Hey everyone, guess who woke up early. I’m really excited about today because I’m going to be very productive today. I even got everything itemized just to keep up. First off, I’m going to check out those board game stores for D&D dice and maybe a monsters guide. It’s likely too expensive but at least I can check it out. Secondly, I’m going to bring along my little black book for writing and maybe check out Chapters for books. That’s going to take around 5-6 hours, hopefully. Okay, it doesn’t sound exciting but I will be far away from my computer as much as possible.

But before I do, I have to update my game clients since all of them would have started a Christmas theme event in-game. Usually these events are pretty extravagant, so I might as well do it now and get it over with.  It’s going to be pretty annoying to sit and wait. However, I’ll be persistent.

My writing project right now will involve a New Year blog about all the happenings in games and popular news. I though it would be a nice way to have some sort of reflection on the world this year. Going to involve lots of reading and looking into and it’s going to be a lengthy read so I hope you brought your reading glasses (or a cup of tea) for this one.

Comments and suggestion, don’t forget to hug someone or go outside if it’s a sunny day. It’s going to be a pretty busy week, stay turned (I mean, subscribed)!

Day 8: Update and sad sleeping-ness

Just a quick update for today’s happenings. First off, I literally slept through the day. ANd I woke up just to check facebook and all that online stuff. So I literally overlooking all my plans. But I guess I can do them tomorrow and try and get up early. Though it’s kind of hard sticking to this 21 days of no video games to keeping productive because I’m feel really down and I honestly feel like I never have the energy to get up. It’s a very miserable feeling that I can never describe. I guess the only way to put it close to would be being pinned by a cement block as the rain pours down your face in a night so dark and no one can hear you no matter how loud you scream in pain. Then at the very moment, you notice everything you lived for was for in vain; I guess that’s as much as I can describe it. Probably I’m just part of the generation growing sad and disconnected from social interaction, maybe just the world is too bug to really recognize one person’s existence.

Day 8, I can finally see myself breaking down without video games. Cravings have felt like they’ve increased ten-fold, everything in my body is in pain, I can hardly sleep at regular intervals. But it looks like I have to press on this attack.

Tomorrow, I hope for the best though it never gets better. As one fictional character once said, “Just because one threat is behind you, doesn’t mean there isn’t another ahead ”.