Back On This Road

It’s been a month and I’ve been staving off my prescription. Rationing every pill, forcing myself out of a cycle.

I’ve been lacking proper routine. Lacking a continuous “feel good” emotion, I feel I’m the only one who just feels sad all the time. Happiness eludes me and here I am waking up in the afternoon hoping I can get one thing done. I’m starting to spend long nights watching YouTube and browsing photos. I loathe this existence, I always wanted more and in a positive manner.

I’ve been having a hard time to really kick myself into doing things. The things I like doing feel heavier to do. Why can’t I just be normal – as normal as I can be without feeling terrible.

I’m going to relax a bit before I have an anxiety attack or something. At some point, I have to talk to my doctor.

Advertisements