The past week was really dull, in detail it was mind numbing. The ins and outs of hunting for suitable employment has put me into the point of just snapping. Not because it was stressful, it was lacking the stressful stimulation I really need. Though looking back when I was kid, I never really wanted a job but just to enjoy life. In hindsight, it wasn’t completely true. It’s halfway through 2014 and I spend the last half decade without meaningful employment. In a way, I’m not having fun. Perhaps my approach is tempered by the fact, living life is synergetic. To be productive is to have fun and when you have fun at what you do then you can keep holding on to what you do. Quite unfortunate for me considering jobs here are a means to an end. Whether to lose debt, gain wealth or (In my case) a means to survive the future, I’m still stuck here trying to move on with my life when the world just feels like it won’t let me and it’s just teasing me with false exit strategies.
Stuck here watching Stargate Atlantis from front to back puts it in perspective since I’m halfway through the series after a couple days. This past week is probably the first time for a long while I feel mentally exhausted. Exhausted of rejection. Exhausted of silence. Exhausted of what seems to be a futile pursuit.
Perhaps I’m just pushing myself a bit too much and I need to relax. I’m not saying I had a stressful week, but I wish I had a more to do besides find available positions and get rejected repetitively. There is a reason why I’m not a desk person.
Until next time, have a relaxing weekend!
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