Everything hurts, I’ll keep going.

I won’t bring up much of my personal life on here, but I can hint it hurts a lot and it will scar me as long as I remember. The hardest part is moving on from it. It’s been so long since I felt like this, it was years before I started this blog. The last time seems less painful than it is now, hopefully it will numb. Anyone who has opened their heart and had it hurt, I can really understand your pain.

But we can never change the past, we can only learn from them and do better in the future. No matter how much pain induced for that very moment, the future will hopefully make it go away. The past few days, I tried to keep my mind distracted from old memories. Though successful, it’s tiresome but it numbs well. That’s how it is with me. Being distracted is pretty tough, music and video games can only keep me well diverted until I get bored. The quest for employment is still ongoing, though I kind of feel like I don’t want to do this anymore. Just holding on even though the job market is pretty terrible under my circumstances.

Even though the sun out and puffy clouds float, a storm is raining down on me. I want to try and stay positive even when things go bad. When I can’t be, I just let out the pain. Everyone has a way to relieve pain, I do my best in my own way – distractions. Anything to relieve the thoughts in my head and numb the pain I’m going through. I don’t feel envious of those who can feel nothing. I just wish I had that kind of willpower to turn it off and get on with my life.

Until I am over these emotions and until next time my fellow readers, stay positive out there. Feel free to drop a comment of kind words and positive motivation.


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