Stop and Smell The Roses…

Spring’s here, that’s a given. Aside from getting out of bed earlier; this year, exercise is becoming a priority to me. I’m not obviously freaking out eating healthy and just becoming a total jock and pick up sports or be on an extensive exercise regimen. But for the start of spring, I decided to go for a run. With no inhibitions, I donned my athletics and at the crack of dawn; I went for a slow run around a route I measured to be 1.2 kilometres (just under 3/4 of a mile), completed just under 6 minutes which isn’t so bad. My aim is a 2.5 km run in under 14 minutes, 12 minutes if I can really do it.

Even for six minutes of a gentle run, I found some bliss into it. Stepping off my doorstep, it was quiet and silent in the twilight of the street lights. Eerie more like it, with the artery empty of car flow. As I made pace, I thought about the past months. Ever since I fell ill around Christmas, my state of health seems very amplified in front of me. Bit by bit, I’ve been working to get back into better health. Been talking to the doctors I have to see and I’ve been feeling better under the guidance of them. As I round the halfway point contemplating, I felt I never really went anywhere with a bit of guidance. I always feel like I’m holding a map I can’t read and I still need directions.

We can sit here and lie with “I know what I’m doing” and “I know where I’m going in life”. But do we really? If that one person or thing wasn’t there to inspire or push you, would you be at this moment in your life? Without that moment where realization needed to be reality, would it have happened like this? We all remember the positive influences. For some, we have to remember and regret the negative influences. Looking back we might say they were negative or bad decisions; but in that very moment, it felt necessary and even urgent above all else. For me it wasn’t one full moment of clarity, but it was small moments just punted me along. And for me, it took a couple bad thoughts and a bunch of bad apples to tear it all down.

Nearing the end of my run, I could only think of the few things those few things I’ve learned about myself. Some good advice I should have listened to before. Do what you feel you want to do and not the wishes of others. You are the only one seeking your direction.

In time, I’ll be back where I felt I belonged. All I can do is run laps in my mind, readying myself for my second chance.

Have a little clarity everyone, until next time!


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