Hey me, how’s it going?
March 3, 2012
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It’s been some time since I reported on my condition. As you can tell, my addiction to video games is back. Starting to become a problem since I can’t sleep and starting to feel restless. I guess if someone saw me, they think I smoke or something.
So asides from this, still sad little me I’m trying to stop. So far not really much to report; I am slowly cutting back on my medication now after being dependent on it for awhile. Which means these migraines are being more frequent, understandable since it affects my brain chemistry. One thing to be down 24/7, another thing is income since I am still stuck where I was three or four years ago. The medication is great, it’s been working like a charm; self esteem is a bit better, my mind is not feeding me morbid hypotheticals, but this hunger thing is insane. Sure three meals a day is easy but when you turn into an insomiac, it turns into five meals.
I feel like I am in a better place. Not perfect, but better than how I use to feel. Currently in my semi-conscious state, calm is pretty close. Things are starting to feel better, though not necessarily the exterior situation but with in myself. A part of me feels missing still, no doubt I’ll find him in time for me to move on to greater things. Probably going to restrain myself to make Saturday afternoon for games for the next month. After that, cutting it back to the point where I can play without the compulsion to feel accomplished. Because that feeling is ridiculously hard to control. Sure, amazing but for a video, it doesn’t seem right for me. Few years ago, I would’ve thought I had nothing to live for. Maybe I have what I wanted to do now. Just keep holding on until I feel this weight lifted off me, might be tomorrow or three years; I know I am doing pretty well so far, think happy thoughts.
Let me try getting some sleep now…
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