Shifting gears: The final dance and the motivation to keep moving on

Well folks, it’s been a full month since I started this add-on project. I’ve been tinkering and correcting code to the point where I’ve honestly ready to abandon this project. Before I jump ship, I’ll give it one more shot tonight. It’s just been a grind to get this running and I believe I’ve failed to decipher the code to get it all up and running.

On Thursday, I made a visit to my psychiatrist. It looks like he’s really wanting to watch over me on this. I don’t know how increasing my dose would help, but I hope it would give me enough motivation to keep moving on to stuff I have to really put more effort into. First I have to get back to a normal sleeping schedule. Starting tonight, no more games. No more MMORPG’s. No more FPS. It’s time I really have to cut loose and move on. I have to start working on things I really have to dig into and accomplish. First off, I have to put down a list of thing I have to pull off. Starting tomorrow morning (weather permitting), I’m going to try and run. Maybe not the full 2.4 km, but I’m going to aim for 5 laps around the track nearby. I’m going to quit and go home until I’m sweating. While that happens, I’m going to start filling up my schedule with applying for some potential employers. In a city of millions, the only way to really get a job is to compete or find the jobs no one would be willing to do. I’m looking outside this pig pen so to speak. I’m thinking, maybe military service? I know I can do it. I just need to have that mentality to step up and be ready to go through everything. I’ve thought about it. I am determined and probably after awhile, be fit to do whatever the military can throw at me. I want to be outdoors than stuck inside. I don’t mind a career involving firearms (I got an obsession with weapons and gear). I’m going to do this!

This is going to work out really well considering how everything falls into place of what I want my life to somewhat be like. I wanted out of my current situation since high school. I think I can really pull this off. First get fit, then a job involving firearms, work really hard at it, then as a way to keep sharp to my career; play milsim airsoft. Easy peasy! However there are a few things I have to get out of my system. First is the medication, then following would be my addiction to video games and keep my mind in a stable state of self sustaining motivation. Biggest thing to kick is the meds, I’m not willing to go cold turkey yet. I want it to help me keep going and likely by the time July 2012 rolls in, I would be on someone’s payroll. God, I could feel things can change as of now. I have to be determined to go through it. Unfortunately companionship is kind of a no-go, but I hope this feeling will help me push through next week to really shape up.

For now, I’m fairly hopeful about this week. Until next week, folks!


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