Day 10: Half way but half ass
December 28, 2010
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Afternoon, I just had a wonderful lunch of pasta and sausage. I know I promised that retrospect, but I decided to scrap that idea since my memory of 2010 is pretty personal and short. But without a shadow of a doubt, I’m still going strong in fighting my addiction.
Today, my headaches stopped sort of. I can still feel my head throbbing like mad, but it doesn’t hurt as much. I still feel tired and pathetic; but hey, my 9 day headache is almost gone. I think I might pull through this, I just to hang in and hold firm. Definitely sitting here and typing than playing really makes the difference. Rather than shutting down, I’m just letting it out and just calming down. Well, not really calming down; more like being open of my unfortunate situation. My sleep cycle is still out of whack, I might have to tweak around a few things to get it right. I just hope I don’t relapse; or worse, get through this all over again.
You know how you were a kid and you had that one thing that made you happy and without it you feel pretty sad? That’s me and video games. Like most of my childhood was video games. It raised and taught me the finer details in life no mater how obscure or exaggerated they are. It was always there to reward and punish me. The one thing I turned to when I need to be comforted and feel needed. Listen to me going on like this; but that’s the underlying truth, video games is my only friend and it’s hard for me to turn my back to something I really put my trust in. Without it, I just feel empty inside like I lost a part of myself.
The plan today is to nap considering I only slept for 3 hours, then maybe make a couple phone calls and maybe try and call whoever reached my cell phone yesterday during my walk. Apparently, someone called and I didn’t feel my phone vibrate. I’m that kind of person who doesn’t want an auditory distraction, there’s just too many phone like that. So I took a simple and polite approach to my phone and just set it to vibrate so it doesn’t annoy anyone. After I took my necessary rest, I think I’m going to have either eat or type more to get away from the game icons. I really need some inspiration since I haven’t written a poem since November. Maybe bug my girlfriend a bit when she’s not busy.
As always, sharing is caring so leave a comment or suggestion. I’ll will definitely be seeing you all tomorrow!